tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200895162024-03-13T15:30:15.493-06:00Just A Girl Who Wants to Change the WorldThis is my place...the only place I can call my own...the place where thoughts run free...where ground is broke...where people may be inspired...this place is my place...be inspired...be challenged...be free...and think about a life where your thoughts can change the world.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.comBlogger276125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-61997489998468797972012-01-21T13:09:00.003-07:002012-01-21T19:54:59.531-07:00hmmm...One day your sitting here...then your sitting there...and then all of a sudden you feel nowhere. So much change that your mind is spinning. And somewhere in there you lost yourself.<br /><br />Life can be overwhelming and sometimes your not sure if your making the right choices. You just have to trust you know what your doing.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-36549180951582525142012-01-18T20:45:00.003-07:002012-01-18T20:46:53.624-07:00Figured it outYay I figured out which email and stuff I used to get on to my blog so here I am again blogging here. So check back for updates soon.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-52977603058865717122011-10-08T19:52:00.004-06:002011-10-08T20:24:55.848-06:00Things I have learned in MontrealWow its been awhile since I blogged and I need to continue doing it as its a great stress reliever.<br /><br />I have been reflecting a lot on life as a chapter is about to end and a new one start. My life has been interesting and weird at times but I love it. So here is what I have learned in the past 3 years.<br /><br />Things I learned while living in Montreal. First thing I would like to say its an amazing place that you definitely need to check out once in your life. Its a passionate and free place. Its a place you can be yourself and be accepted.<br /><br />So the first thing I learned is be yourself. You aren't going to be happy trying to be someone else. Watching everyone in this city be themselves...people who wouldn't be accepted in other places. Even though I don't agree with their lifestyle at least they are themselves.<br /><br />Second thing is see the beauty even in what seems ugly. This city looks dirty at times there is garbage and homeless and other things all over the place. But this city is so beautiful...there are hidden treasures and secret get aways. It can be some hole in the wall coffee shop or some busy parc. There is so many places and things to do that make life amazing here.<br /><br />Another thing I learned...stop and take a breather. This whole city is chill. People aren't really in a hurry. Some will just sit all day on the benches and watch the world go by. Its really great.<br /><br />One of the main things I learned here is the french language....its beautiful and its amazing. I am so happy to know a second language and be able to speak to a people who seem misunderstood. Language is important...and this will take me into something else I learned here and that is french Canadians are misunderstood by the rest of Canada. Its not their fault its just we don't speak the language...and I don't mean french. Communicating is more then language...its listening as well and its finding out what people actually need. The french Canadians just want to be listened to...and we need to listen with compassion. Because the french language is beautiful.<br /><br />There is many more things I have learned while living here its not possible to write everything that 3 years has taught me. I have changed thoughts and opinions and my look. If there is one thing that I know its that I am a changed person that will be coming back to Alberta.<br /><br />This has been a great experience and I know I have learned the things I was supposed to learn. I am very excited about the next chapter in my life. Cant wait to see what happens in the next 3 or so years and where life takes me.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-52766486358413233492011-02-05T20:10:00.003-07:002011-02-05T20:28:23.441-07:00The Runners BattleRunning is a blast and its great exercise. But your opponent is mean and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">viscous</span> and can really tear you down. You get out there and your doing well and your opponent whom I call the enemy smiles at you and says you cant do this. Give up now...I will win. You start slowing down and you realize you are in over your head. Then your opponent says <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">ha ha</span> told you so just stop why put yourself through this. You start to wonder why you started in the first place...then you speed up. You see the person on the side lines cheering your name then you realize I can do this. The enemy gets even worse and says things like...your body will hurt after this, your not gonna get a PB...your gonna make a fool of yourself. But you just gotta shut out that opponent and keep going. You have to remember the amazing feeling of accomplishment you get after this race.<br /><br /><br /><br />And you thought running was a solo sport. Well mostly it is...the opponent is yourself. During a race or just an everyday run you can convince yourself you suck more then anyone else can. You can be the worst thing for yourself. But you can also be the person who build you up as well. For me I am very good at convincing myself I will never get better so why even try. But I know I have gotten better.<br /><br /><br /><br />Positive thinking is half the battle...yes you need to get into shape and all that...but just thinking you can do it really helps.<br /><br /><br /><br />Another thing that has helped me a lot is the fact I am surrounded by people who are encouraging...joining a club was the best thing I did.<br /><br />Every week I know I am hard on myself and I do get upset if I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">haven't</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">beatin</span> a time that I am <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">convinced</span> I can do but I just want to be the best...I want to be an amazing runner. I know with time I will succeed my goals. I am still running with that pain in my sides that is off and on. But I am not letting it stop me.<br /><br />So for 2011 I am going to do as many 5km races as I can and I am going to do my first Half Marathon. For my 5km my goal is to break 25min...I know I can do this. I know that I am only do them at 29 right now but I believe I can do this. And <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">that's</span> half the battle.<br /><br />So if you read my blogs then continue this <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">journey</span> with me and lets see where I end up this year in the running scene. And as long as I get out there I know I already won the battle.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-15235697312295896682010-12-21T21:20:00.002-07:002010-12-21T21:38:22.794-07:00The only thing I can think about lately is running. When I am in a bad mood I wanna run because it helps. When I am in a good mood I wanna run cause its fun. Even when I am in a lazy mood I think of somethin maybe not running but something that invloves working out. I have been going to the gym a lot lately and just really working on being the best runner I can be. I want to take the 2011 racing season by storm. I did really well this year in my first 6months of running which I still cant believe I have held on this long its amazing.<br /><br />You learn a lot of things about yourself when you pick up something like this. You learn what you are willing to go through to succeed. I was still running for months with a pain in my side. After tests its still undetermined what it is. But in the last couple of weeks it also hasnt been there so I dunno. Also I am not one of the fastest runners in my club heck I might even be the slowest but I still work hard. I want to be a faster runner thats my goal. I want to be able to do 5kms super fast. I will also be doing my first half marathon in the fall of next year which is cool.<br /><br />The most interesting part is the battle that goes on in the mind when racing. Your body is telling you to stop and sometimes your head is almost convinced...but there is this other voice telling me to keep going. One time during track one of the women told me just to keep going and never stop and so I always think of that and I dont stop....even if I have to run slower I am still running. If your brain tells your body it can keep going it can.<br /><br />We just had our end of the year party for our club and it was awesome. It really is like a family our little running family. Everyone is so great and fun to chill with. I just let myself go and had fun with all of them which I am still learning to be myself with them. I have been a quiet one and anyone who knows the real Nikki knows thats not the case. I am not quiet be no means. But I am letting that Nikki out bit by bit there. I am super comfortable with a bunch of them and am meeting more and more runners in the club that are just a blast to chill with.<br /><br />Now that I am 6months into this running adventure it has no longer become something I think I will do for awhile but it has become a lifelong adventure to me. I know it...I love it. Which will be like the first thing I never started and quit. This is my new lifestyle and I am a runner.<br /><br />Going into 2011 I have many goals for my running and other things but I will write an end of the year blog in a week. I just decided to write a new blog cause I havent kept it up in the last couple of months but said I would. That is one of my goals for 2011 is to keep this up so you all know what is going on in my life and thoughts...near or far. Hope everyone has a great Christmas and dont forget why we actually celebrate this day.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-70650956900910975372010-10-14T21:49:00.003-06:002010-10-14T22:12:55.272-06:00Adventures in runningYou have your shorts and t-shirt. You grab your shoes...ahh the laces so familier you tie them they way you always do. Grab your ipod with your favorite tunes...then you step out the door. That first step to the pavement is a step towards victory. As you head down the street the wind in your face and its you against you. You keep going and start to feel the pains in your legs telling you to stop but you keep going. All of a sudden you become aware of every muscle and every breath. Focusing on the music and your thoughts you push through...telling yourself this is my day and I got this. Finally you are rounding your last corner and you see your house and you are back for a nice shower and a snack...and you are proud that you went out at all.<br /><br />Running has been an adventure for me...one I never thought I would take on. It has become more then something I do but something I have become. I live my life around it...everything I do I ask the question how will this effect my running. My eating habits, my sleeping habits and just my daily life I have become a runner. I am a runner. I feel weird sayng that because I feel like it takes years of training and some medals under your belt before you can be called that. But its not true...I have been running for about 4months now...and I am a runner. I think I have improved since my first awkward day on the track in the rain with people I didnt know. Now I look forward to running and I get upset...very upset when I cant. I love just randomly running in my neighborhood and getting lost and finding my way home its so fun and a great way to get to know the city better.<br /><br />I have always started things and quit them but this is something I dont want to quit. I have thought of quitting many times...but I dont want to. Its hard but the reward is so much more. Everytime I go out there and run I doubt at first I am not gonna make it I say and then I surprise myself and actually do it. Even tho I have only done a couple of races they are awesome. Super hard but awesome...near the last km I always think if quitting or in the first km I think why the heck am I doin this maybe I should just walk. But then I get to the finish line and its all over and I just had victory. All I have to say is I got this. Its really a mind thing you would be surprised what you can convince your body of doing.<br /><br />Running has become tougher for me recently as I have a weird pain in my side and now in my chest. The doctor doesnt know what it is. But I am not letting it stop me...I do listen to my body and slow down when it gets worse and somedays I cant even go out. Those are the worst...not running is hard...I cant not run. But I continue and push on and I know it will get resolved.<br /><br />Theres nothing like ending a hard stressful day with an amazing night run. You come home relaxed and ready to sleep and take on the next day cause the faster you get to sleep the closer you get to running again. Once you start you cant stop its addicting...its who you are. And its become who I am. This is me a runner. Never thought I would say that...never knew I liked running.<br /><br />I am surrounded by great people who cheer you on and dont look down on you for being slow and I really appreciate that. I love the people I run with cause I can learn from them and feel great about myself as well. Also its great to have a group of people cause I think its important to have this encouragment so you dont quit. I know for me if I didnt have the people and the coach around I wouldnt be where I am today with running and I prob wouldnt be doing it anymore. My favorite day is wednesday when I get to run with these encouraging people. I look forward to it every week. And learning from the coach has been awesome too...I think every week I learn something new from her and I love it cause it helps me improve...expecially when someone seems interested in you succeeding like she does.<br /><br />So in the last bit of my post I would like to encourage you all again to find some sort of sport you love or didnt know you loved and go do it. Honestly the reward is worth all the hard work and the smell of victory is just too good.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-75170535313511312042010-07-07T19:56:00.002-06:002010-07-07T20:06:56.873-06:00My new passion....runningIts funny I have always been a runner...I used to run from everything...commitments, responsiblity and even myself. But I am talking about the physical act of running. I have been in this club now for four weeks...and honestly I love it. Its hard and its challenging...but I love that I am getting better...and that I am doing it. The coach is amazing...and I have quit yet which is also amazing...and I dont plan on quitting. The coach pushes and encourages...I know without her I wouldnt have been able to do tonight. I would have quit the workout. Also what I like is I have something to do and go to thats my own. Well there are others out there...but I mean no one is there from my circle only me and I love it...I feel like I have something to call my own...and people I get to see every week that are out of my circle and they are soooo funny and they are great to be around. I love that even the seasoned runners encourage you to keep going...they are so great. Honestly I cant brag about them enough. I am hoping to be able to run some races in the fall. The coach thinks I can but she has a bit more faith in me then I do. Running is great excercise for those of you who dont do it you should try...its really fun and you dont really need to be amazing just do it. I am sitting here now drinking a beer to reward myself for even going to the track in a plus 43 day wow it was hot today. Its not the heat that really gets me its the humidity...that sucks. That part makes me angry...I even yelled at it on the track then wanted to cry....haha sometimes my emotions are up and down when I run but always after I am in the greatest mood and just love life endorphines are great. Well that is all for me tonight my brain is tired...I will post more of this experiance up another time...but untill next time I really encourage you to do something active it doesnt have to be running it can just be walking but get out there...you feel really great about yourself when do it.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-12420940050173675902010-06-26T21:08:00.002-06:002010-06-26T21:25:45.777-06:00They will catch it...this I knowWho would have known this is where I would be in 2010. Sitting on my balcony in Montreal listening to the hum of the highway. Well Daddy I guess you knew. Who would have known that I would be this person today someone that is completely unrecognizable to the past. Who was I then? Oh it doesn't matter, its who I am today that matters. Who am I you ask? A nanny, a student, a runner, a friend. No none of those things, I am a child of the Most High, loved like no else and cherished more then I know. Montreal a passionate city, but broken. I don't know sometimes why you brought me here. Then I look into a women's eyes, where I see loss and emptiness and I remember. The love you want to pour out on these people, your heart grieves for your lost children, you are calling them home. Daddy what do I have to offer in all this? Ahh I get it, I see and feel you, sharing you is all I can do and that's what you want. Open their eyes Daddy, soften their hearts. My heart is broken for them. Your love is beautiful and amazing never in this world would I have imagined this life. And its only going to get better from here. If my dreams are not yours please take them away as I only want what you want. Can you hear that? The laughter, the dancing oh I can its the people when this city catches it. Look at the smiles and the pure joy, when this city catches it, no one will be able to stop them as they are a passionate people. Show me more. The are like children playing and dancing in the streets haha such a beautiful sight. Sharing what they have so no one goes without. I see it this is your city, these are your children and the will catch it. Do you see the beauty, of course you do, your God. Show me your heart Daddy. Oh that hurts, look at the women weeping, the child hurting, the lonely man and the blind. Embrace them don't let go, meet them don't lose sight. Sickness, disease, famine and strife have no place in my city. I can see it now the bigger picture, your tower is big enough for them all. They will see that this righteousness is attainable and they will see that they also can be loved. This I know.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-39417375681152581282010-06-24T20:10:00.002-06:002010-06-24T20:20:30.715-06:00New Adventures = New PerspectiveOk I know I have said this before but this time its for real I am gonna start blogging again. I always think nothing new happens in my life why should I blog all the time and what not but new things are always happening. If different things didnt happen every day we wouldnt grow.<br /><br />So the biggest new thing tho is I joined a running club. I have been running with a friend and on my own at times and realized I really like it. Also I am not that bad at it. So I wanted to become a runner and get better and go farther with it. So I joined this group and we have a coach and everything and its intense. I enjoy every minute of it even when I am in pain. I love being pushed sometimes its annoying in the moment but at the end I am like that was good...I am glad the coach pushed me...even tho I normally feel like I am goin to die. I always try new things and then quit and then try somethin else and then quit. But this is something I found I like and am ok at and I dont want to quit this. Its in the keeping going where we find perseverance and determintation. Also running gives you a high...a natural high. I love it so much I love the feeling of getting a new personal record and I love the feeling of all my muscles screaming at me to stop and I keep pushing. I just love it. I have been sleeping much better and more happy since I started running...and when I run on my own there is more time for me to talk to God and just get closer to Him.<br /><br />I am not sure if this is a natural talent I have always had or even have but I do love running and honestly cant wait for my first race. I biked 50km in the freezing rain on a thing called Tour de L'ile I can certanitly do anything now I believe. So my advice to you all is...if you have something you want to do and just thought you never could or your too old or whatever it is...just do it...just try because its ok to fall...as long as you get back up again...and to try is not to fail but its not trying thats failing...so just go for it. I cant wait to see what God does in all your lives. I will update you more on my adventure I am inspired by something bigger then me and need to share it with the world.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-65949743894206083842010-03-29T20:54:00.002-06:002010-03-29T21:08:16.621-06:00My heart weepsThe lost and confused, the broken and abused, the lonely and rejected, the rich and the poor, they all need the One...and my heart cries out for them. Since I have moved to Montreal I have said that I have fallen in love with this city and really feel at home here...well thats true. But just recently I realized its not the city I have fallen in love with...its the people. The streets are filled with the most precious commodity...thats people. They live on the streets, they live in crappy houses, and some live in nice houses. This city is filled with diversity and culture...not just in the museums but in peoples homes. There are latin, lebanese, chinese, english, italian and french neighborhoods...yes there is fights and disagrements. But this city is amazing...all the world sees are statistics and poverty. I see love and hope. A hope that people thought is lost...but as I smile at the faces in the streets and notice them...not looking past them I pray they see this hope. Montreal is an amazing place...a place where you cant just come and not be changed. This place changes you takes you out of your comfort zone and provokes a holy anger. One where you know you just cant stand and watch the injustice around you. One where you are wanting to take action...prayer is great. I pray everyday for these people but its time for me to take action...its time for me to stand up for those that have been rejected byt the world. And I will I can tell you all that is on my heart tonight cause I dont even understand it all...but I will continue to keep you updated on this journey and the new dreams God has place in my heart and where I will be heading in the near future as my job is coming to an end in august I will have to find direction but I have a feeling I know where I am heading...prayers are apreciated and if you need a prayer or two drop me a line untill then...be the change you want to see in this world yes I used that qoute but its true.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-16650865899185207372010-02-14T18:43:00.002-07:002010-02-14T18:47:38.811-07:00You are my songWell I know I havent updated my blog in a long time but here is something I wrote during worship the other day I wanted to share with you all...and maybe I will write some more on here again.<br /><br />You are my rock song nothing gets me as high as you<br />You are my love song nothing pierces my heart like you<br />You are my pop song nothing gets me moving like you<br />You are my country song nothing gets me to say yeehaw like you<br />You are my classical song nothing soothes me like you<br />You are my lullaby nothing gives me peace like you<br />You are my childrens song nothing gives me faith like you<br />Ultimetly you are my worship song...worthy of all my worship<br />You are the words and the music, everything that makes the song is you<br />You are the song<br />You are my song<br /><br /><br />Just hope everyone is doing great...I am doing awesome here in Montreal...its been a great transition and its almost been two years...everyday exciting things happen and I am just stoked to see what God has for me next.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-53116269180041966622009-11-19T20:09:00.002-07:002009-11-19T20:34:22.601-07:00God is good...ALL the timeOk well its time for a serious update to my non commited readers...God is flippin good...He is off the wall amazing...and kick butt crazy...He knew what He was doing when He sent me to Montreal...He knew...wow...cause I didnt know...I didnt know what He was doing...the new places and the higher heights I have reached are all because of Him...the people He has placed in my life are like no one I have met...they have hearts like mine...ones I have never met...ones that dont make me feel so out of place...the roommates He has given me...oh man I wish everyone I know in Alberta could meet them honestly one of the best things He has given me...they help you grow and they truly care about you...the church I am is on fire...like nothing I have seen but I have only dreamt of...He has shown me what I knew could happen...oh and the friends...the leaders of the church are my friends something I never thought could happen...I truly trust them with anything I am dealing with and I could go to them and say hey this is whats up...help me...and they will...they actually have time for you wow...anyways I have a thousand thoughts goin through my head and some new blogs to write for you all...I cant wait to be back writing on here again about things that make my heart leap for joy...so I am going to leave you with a challenge today and that is to pray uncesingly...this is something I have been doing...now this doesnt mean sitting in your room and praying straight we just cant do that...we have jobs to do and life to do...it means in your everyday living pray...in your everything...when going to work pray...while at work pray...while eating lunch pray..while talking with people pray...you will see instant change...I know this cause I have...just in the attitudes of non believers around you...I have seen change...I have seen it...God is amazing...and I love you all and want the best for you but God wants more for you...haha WOW...He is good...all the time...lets save some for later.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-74435987339615487332009-10-25T20:44:00.003-06:002009-10-25T21:07:01.196-06:00Dark, bleak and stormyThe cold dark nights lead to warm sunny days...but inside the cold dark nights are cold dreary days...the anger that resides within...it sometimes seeps out into the world...the anger thats within is like a beast in a cage...and if the cage gets open you cannot control the beast...it reaks havoc on anything in its way and chews it up and spits it out...sometimes the days arent so cold and bleak...sometimes they are sunny and bright and full of joy...but those days are far and few between...I fight...I run...and I do persevere...but sometimes when all it does is rains its hard to fight...the cold gets to your bones and freezes you from the inside and eventually freezes you completly untill you cannot move anymore...walking down the street in the rain watching the zombies go by...watching the world spin...and it looks fast around me while I am in slow motion...I am climbing to the top of this mountian and the view is beautiful from here...majestic...so astounding...I like the top...its safe up here...nothing can touch me...in the tower where the arrows cant hit me...but now its time to run through it all...to get to the other side...to find the next adventure...the bleak dark days...the rain...the anger its still there...but so is the peace...they dont agree...but still I go on...cause I know its right its not time to quit this fight...the days are starting to look brighter...and I am still waiting for the rain to go...and I do know that it will be better...just sitting and waitingNicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-51707888529642275902009-08-23T18:38:00.002-06:002009-08-23T18:49:00.993-06:00Update on my lifeWell I guess its time for an update in the life of Nikki...well you see I am in love...in love with my life...my city and everything I have here...I have never in my life felt more accepted more loved and more cared about then I do here...I have witnessed unconditional love...I have seen real Christianity...I have turned a new leaf in my life...I am working out and eating better and seeing and feeling instant results...Montreal has changed my life in many ways...one thing I have learned here is to be who you want to be...and dont let anyone convince you to be someone else...people are so passionate and free here...God is doing awesome things in this city and its exciting to see it and to be used by Him...I never thought in my life that I would be at this point...what you point you ask...the point of no return...I used to live a rollercoaster Christianity...but I have walked across the line of no return and have grown and gotten deeper where there is no going back...I no longer live in ups and downs...its an incline from here...God has shown me many things here like that I am not a sinner saved by grace...I am righteous...and that nothing can touch me as long as I stay in His strong tower...and I have always known I am a child of God...but dude I am a child of God...like for real my Father is the creator of the universe and He loves me more then anyone could...He cares about me more then anyone...He is jealous for me...He wants all of me...and I have given all to Him...honestly I am just livin my life for Him and no longer my selfish desires...God is good...I have found Him more here then anywhere else in my Christian walk...everyday I am amazed at what He can do and I have gained a new hunger for His word...I love chillin with Him the most...and well I just love my life...so this is just a little update on how great I am doing...life is good...and I just encourage you to dig deep...cause once you do you will be hooked and thats the place where you will stand strong...thats the place where you will be able to fight and not back down...when the enemy comes you will be able to kick him where it counts cause you have an army on your side...you have God...and if you have God what can touch you...nothing.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-26799178103619698742009-06-28T00:07:00.003-06:002009-06-28T00:12:46.680-06:00Just a poem I made up on the spotI am ready if you want me...I have let go of it all...this world has nothing to offer me...so just take me as I am...I am ready if you want me...if its my time to go then show me the way...I bet your place is more amazing then where I am now...I am ready if you want me...if I close my eyes I can see your face...I can hear your voice...maybe you arent done with me here...but I am ready if you want me...said my hellos and goodbyes so take me if you want me...what is there left for me here...what will I ever do...nothing here satisfies me anymore...take me if you want me...I am tired of this pain...I am tired of this hurt...I am tired of the sadness...please I am asking you to take me...you said you have a plan or was that just a dream...you said you werent done with me yet or was I mistaken...you said the time is now for great things...or did I make this up...take me if you want me...take me if you want me...I fall into your arms and close my eyes...I dream of these great things you will do through me...I dream of happy endings...only with you can this ever happen...take me when its time...but for now work with me...do what needs to be done and then take me if you want meNicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-30547971933217476152009-04-26T23:31:00.002-06:002009-04-26T23:41:26.714-06:00I am in aweSo its been awhile since I have written and thats because I thought I had no inspiration...which is totally not true...its all around me...so for those of you who read this let me update you on my life...I am in love...I am in love with my God...I am in love with my life and I am in love with my city...yes thats right I called Montreal my city...its been almost 10 months since moving here approaching the year mark and its been amazing and I have fallin in love with this city...so what has been goin on in Nikki's life in the past few weeks....well a lot really...I have been up and down and all around haha unsure of things and just confused on life...but God this whole time has been holding me and telling me its all going to be ok...He is good...yes He is...I believe I am a writer...and thought I had writers block this last little while...but thats not true at all...I just havent been trying or caring about anything...but have not fallin away...I still hear and listen to God's voice but at times I dont want to give everything up to Him but I am learning to let it go...I have a few AMAZING friends here who have helped me a lot and a GREAT church family...I am stoked to see where God takes us and how He grows us...I get to go to Paris in a few weeks with the family I work for which is awesome...I have never left Canada so I am stoked about this...I am planning a trip to BC in the summer hopefully august...I also want to hit Vancouver up...I honestly have never been this happy in my life...and its amazing and scary at the same time because God is positioning me for great things...and He is goin to do great things through me...cant wait to see what that is...Montreal is goin to see God and they will also want to follow...they will also wants this joy, peace and happiness we have...and I cant wait for the divine appoitments...if there is anything you want to pray for her in Montreal is for the church to just go and preach the good news...keep Montreal in your prayers...I already see it opening up to the word...I already see hungry people wondering what we have...so please when you pray remember Montreal...and I am also praying for the places that you are all in...I still have Medicine Hat, Calgary and Vancouver in my prayers...God is doing awesome things here and I want to see Him move more...and stronger so that non believers cant resist the tug at their hearts...well this is my life its good...and for those few who read this...thanks for listening...I love you all.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-14688145816015600342009-03-05T12:01:00.003-07:002009-03-05T12:17:21.092-07:00Still goingOk I actually cant believe I am about to do this...but I am about to write this blog on a song that I just love its Brad Paisleys song Find Yourself...ok well this is just proving how Albertan I am...lets make this clear I dont actually listen to country for fun...I just really like the lyrics of this song...ok now thats out of the way lets get to the point...so I am gonna post the lyrics to the song at the end cause some of you may not be familier with it...but in the song its pretty much the story of my life(except for the part where it talks about finding the one, that has yet to happen)...but the song talks about finding yourself in some far off place which causes you to rethink some things and you find out your becoming someone else...well its completly true...I would have never thought in any life time I would be living in Montreal...I am from a small city...Medicine Hat some of us call it the black hole...once your there you can never leave...well I went against the norms and left...and have grown a ton...I am a completly different person...but I also learned a lot about myself in this process...I am more open...I am more spontaneous and I am willing to try new things now...and most of the time I do these things alone...I dont need people to go somewhere with me...things I would have never done back there...the song continues to say When you make new friends in a brand new town and you start to think about settling down The things that would have been lost on you are now clear as a bell And you find yourself...I just love that...cause its so true...and I was able to get away to Toronto this past week...went all by myself and had time to think...I did the whole tourist thing and just discouvered that city...its pretty cool...but it was also great to get away and learn even more about myself...I am still believing for a few things to fall into place in my life...and how it is all gonna play out I dont know...but I do know that God knows...and well He will tell me the things I need to know and the rest I just need to rely on Him..thats the hard part...but He has given me this awesome church family here...they are people from all over...from the west and from the east and even from here...honestly glad I found them...literally stumbled on them haha its a funny story actually...a friend told me about them and I said to her if I run into them then I will check out their church but I am not callin them up...and then one day I randomly stumbled upon people who went to that church...which makes me believe God wanted me there...and I couldnt be happier with my choice to attend that church...I have never felt more part of a church family then I do there...so life is good and hard and sad and happy...and I am alive and I am persevering...but I am also falling...but I am in Gods hands...so I am gonna keep walking, some days crawling...but I am still moving...and thats all that matters.<br /><br /><br /><div align="center">The Lyrics to the song by Brad Paisley...Find Yourself</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">When you find yourself in some far off placeand it causes you to rethink some thingsYou start to sense that slowly you're becoming someone elseAnd then you find yourself...When you make new friends in a brand new townand you start to think about settling downThe things that would have been lost on you are now clear as a bellAnd you find yourself,yeah that's when you find yourselfWell you go through lifeso sure of where you're headingAnd you wind up lostand its the best thing that could have happenedCause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as wellbecause you find yourself,yeah that's when you find yourself.When you meet the one, that you've been waiting forand she's everything, that you want and moreYou look at her and you finally start to live for someone elseAnd then you find yourself,yeah that's when you find yourselfWe you go through lifeso sure of where we're headedAnd we wind up lostand its the best thing that could have happenedCause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as wellBecause you find yourself,Yeah thats when you find yourself.</div>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-61374481767099123212009-03-04T21:28:00.002-07:002009-03-04T21:39:49.656-07:00The beauty that is snowWell I know most of you who read this know my love for snow but some dont so here it is...and Steven you better be reading this cause this is mainly for you...so anyways snow has always been a favorite of mine...listening to it in the middle of the night falling ever so gently on the ground...looking at its pure white shade...not tainted by anything...and looking at the different shapes and sizes not one the same...and letting it fall on your tongue and tasting how refreshing it is...thats creativity....thats beauty...well I love it and one day I was really frustrated and just yelling at God and asked Him why....why is He not providing like He said He would...and I think I need to mention it was a beautiful warm day...no chance of snow...well I look outside and its snowing beautiful flakes...large flakes...and God said to me...no matter what I will always be there for you and I will always provide...and whenever you see the snow...you will be reminded of My peace...and it will be a symbol to you that I will always be there...now its funny that I lived in Alberta so snow in August isnt a big deal but to me it comes when I need it...after that whenever I had a bad day and needed God...it would snow...and He would say...rest in my peace...so I now have a great tattoo on my leg with snow flakes surronding the word victory...just to remind me everyday that my God has my back...so snow means peace to me...and to me when it snows its peaceful and calm...and nothing can go wrong...cause I am in my Daddys arms...hmm its funny cause I wrote this particular blog so a friend can hear my story about snow...but just writing it a peace has settled over me...and its beautiful....I believe its important to find your peace...so find that one thing that you can just fall into...and let it all go.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-49357014588124779362009-02-16T20:43:00.003-07:002009-02-16T21:15:40.493-07:00Who do you think you are?Ok that title may seem a bit harsh but here I sit after watching yet another documentary about white people trying to make other people conform into this so called perfect race...and yet we are far from it...lets get serious here for a second...now wait if you don't want to hear me ramble on about human rights then I think you should leave right now...because I am getting deep and I am going to pour my heart out here so be prepared...ok well if you are still here listen up...a person is a person no matter what tongue they speak, no matter what they wear, no matter where they are from, and no matter what color their skin is...a person is a person...and we all NEED to be treated equally...I am sick and tired of people thinking they are better then others...I saw a documentary tonight that was powerful...just so you know I watch docs all the time its my newest addiction and I have learned A LOT from them...anyways the documentary I watched was about the Inuit people in our country and how the government has left them out in the cold(no pun intended)...they have no rights according to the government they aren't even classified in the Native Peoples Act...so they are fighting for rights and they are fighting for funding up there...there was a good statement in the document that hit me hard...a women said...Canada is looked at as a revolutionary country...one that treats people equally and cares about everyone...yet that's not true within our country some people aren't treated fairly...so now I sit in my room...I look at where I live...now some of you maybe living below the poverty line but let me tell you I have seen real poverty...I just have to walk out my front door...on my way to either work or school I pass two prostitutes...and that's in a 2min walk...downtown by my university it takes me 5min to get from the metro to the main building of my university...and I would have already walked by at least 10 homeless people...some didn't choose that life...my neighborhood is full of poor people...drunks, addicts, you name it...its here...I live in what we would call back home a ghetto...but really they are people...and I love my neighborhood I live in a very french area and I wouldnt want to live in the english neighborhoods...I like where I live...in the middle of it all...sometimes I am even embarrassed to speak english because of what english people have done in this world...sometimes I am embarrassed to be a white english speaking person...because of what white english speaking people have done...they are trying to create some super race...when there is already one...its called the human race...if we were all the same it would be boring...if we all thought a like nothing new would be created...different cultures bring different perspectives and ideas on life...my roommate said something to me the other day that made my heart sad...she got an e-mail from a friend that said to pray for the new president and the United States...and then she said why would I want to pray for them? I want to pray for Canada and my own country...she is Swiss by the way...and that made me sad because this is how most people think...so when people say they want world peace what does this look like? Because I definitely want to pray for other countries because that's the only way it will happen...because God can do ALL things...everything is possible...I know this...now some of you who read this don't believe in God...and you know that I do...but I am just asking you to be a good person..and to treat others with respect no matter what they look like...because we all bleed blood...we all cry tears...and we all feel pain...and right now I am feeling the pain of the world and it hurts...my heart hurts...my eyes weep...and I am taking a stand and I have new dreams...and I know that a handful of people can change the world...or at least the few people who read my blog...I know you can where ever you are...in whatever city you are in...I know you can make a difference...now stand up in your community get involved...stand up for human rights...we are people...we are all the same...no matter what you think...one of my professors the other day said to the class that immigrants should not be able to come to our country and continue with their culture they should have to conform to Canadian culture...first of all I am Canadian and don't even know what that is...but the point is...letting people come here and practice what they were raised to do is what makes Canada so unique its what makes us the country people look at say...freedom...so why are we treating Canadians that were born here like crap as if they don't exist...the Inuits exist...and if you want more info I have an independent site you can watch full length documentaries on about indigenous people from all over the world...every country is treating the indigenous people badly...if any of you saw the new movie Australia you would know that...I have more to say but I think this is enough for now as I have a mid-term tomorrow on International Relations which really means how corrupt this world is and how we make it look like we are getting along until a bomb falls in your backyard and you got...what? Where did that come from? Duh it came from the people you have alienated all this time...anyways please leave your comments I like a challenge.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-534159815140077462009-02-03T17:58:00.002-07:002009-02-03T18:03:29.506-07:00Who are you and what makes you that?Ok so I have been thinking a lot about who I am...and then in one of my classes that question came up it was crazy and unexpected...but I want to do my own little experiment...I want to know who you are like what do you classify yourself. Examples are Canadian, Albertian, Quebecoise, human, student, American, like what do you label yourself as? I am intersted in these results...in my class more people said they were human then any other becuase they dont like the labels...the choices were student, concordian(concordia is my university), human, Canadian or Quebecoise...and most said human and the next highest was Canadian...but who are you? And why are you that?...if you all want to know what I said...I said Canadian...and I said it becuase I am proud to be Canadian and love my country...so please participate and tell me who you are.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-89257751464877770652009-01-20T19:38:00.002-07:002009-01-20T19:49:25.444-07:00My random lifeI havent written in awhile because well I dunno what to write...there is too much and not enough all at the same time...my head has been spinning lately while I am walking in this new season I am in...I started my second semester in univeristy and I am working part time now as well...some of my friends left Montreal to go back to their homes...and 2009 is a completly different life then 2008 was...its like I hit the new years mark and bam brand spankin new life...brand spankin new world...I was thinkin the other day and coming to a new city where no one knew me...I could be who ever I wanted when I came here...and I did just that...I let the real Nikki show the one who I didnt like back home cause I knew a lot of my friends didnt like that person...I am true here...real and raw...I am super calm now which some of you may not believe but its true...I am grown up...after all I am 25 turning 26 this year...its time for some growing up...I actually like who I am...I go to shows, and symphony's and art shows, and just do things I would have never been able to do or would have done...I go to museums by myself and think its soooo fun...as for why I havent written in awhile well its my thoughts they are getting the best of me...and they are doing a good job at confusing me...I am believing for my tuition still or else I cant register for next years classes...well that sucks but I am also ok if not going to school next year is the plan...weird I know cause I came here for school...but did I really...I dont believe that anymore I think God had another plan...I am also interested in going to a culinary school I looked two schools up one is in Vancouver and one is here...well I will most likely go to the one here as I am in the process of finally getting all my stuff here and dont want to drag it all back to the west...plus I believe I am supposed to be in Montreal...I enjoy it and have never felt happier about my life...school is good one of my classes really has me thinking about this world...its made me want to pause my life...and go around with a video camera and find the good...this world is too corrupt is what I am learning in school and I believe in the good..I believe there are good people out there...so I want to pause my life...fill a backpack and go...I want to backpack the world...and I think I will do this too...actually I dont think I know I am going to do this...my dreams have changed a bit I dunno if I want to be in politics anymore...even tho people all around me say I will be good at it...I just am seeing the nasty side of it and who knows maybe I will continue school and maybe I will just be a university dropout thats possible too...haha who knows but this is my life right now...its random...its weird...but its amazing and I wouldnt want anything different.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-11815301182383710492009-01-01T02:32:00.002-07:002009-01-01T02:48:32.063-07:002008 or 2009?...move on dont live in the pastSo today has been an interesting day well its 4:30am on January 1st the year 2009...so I mean the day before technically the 31st of decemeber 2008....its been an interesting day....started out normal...I got up and got ready like I always do and went to work...little did I know that things I would come to realisation to and think about later would change my whole perspective on life...now I have always been this up and down person like a frickin yo yo...but I dont have to be...I thought myself today into a grumpy mood and knew only I was the one to find my way out...so then later I was on a car ride to another city and did a lot of thinkin...did some talkin with some friends too...and stuff and made my goals for 2009...first lets finish of my day...so after work I went home...then chilled for a bit then off to meet up with some friends to do a trip to Ottawa...where we really didnt do anything...but I dont know how it was for them but it was a deeper meaning to me...we went to a party where we knew no one...then we left 5 min before midnight and celebrated just the three of us...we were driving then pulled over and danced around the car in the freezing cold weather...then got back in and kept listening to music...then when meeting up with another friend didnt work out we turned around and drove back to Montreal....and it was good...I wanted to ring in 2009 in a different way that I always have...and I did...which is symbolic becuase I am out with the old and in with the new...its time...also I wanted it to have meaning because I feel its important and it did...I did some great thinkin and got to hang out with two GREAT people in my life...I love them both...so what are my goals...notice I call them goals not resolutions thats on purpose too because no one ends up keepin resolutions and I fullfill goals...so it was also brought to my attention I need specific goals and some fun ones too and not have just serouis ones...so one fun one is...attend suger shack this year...a very cool Quebec thing that I am stoked for...also to see Quebec City....but my more serouis ones are these...to stop seeing the negative in things even in the bad times...to just see the life and growth I can gain out of any situation...thats an important goal because I want to be happy and I truly am here...also to attend ALL my classes...unless I am sick or have another reason but I am not skipping this term at all...and my last one is to stop being afraid to speak the french I know...speaking is the only way I will get better...so to speak less english and more french...one last thing I came to realize here I was talking to a friend tonight and mentioned it to her is...I literally have fallin head over heels for Montreal....I was saying its like a romantic relationship where you just want to spend time with that person and get to know them inside and out...and what makes them tick...thats how I am for this city...when flying back after Christmas it was 7am and I had no sleep but I saw the lights of this beautiful place and I lit up like a child on Christmas morn...I want to know this place inside and out...I want to spend time with it and know what makes it tick...I am in love with where I live...and I pray you all find your place in life that makes you happy...if you are there then awesome and if not then dont give up...life is out there...you just need to live it.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-89512328822079260252008-12-25T02:12:00.003-07:002008-12-25T02:27:35.126-07:00Believe in Santa...like a childEvery Christmas I have come on here and say that I dont like Christmas because in my household its more of a battle then a peaceful day...and that I love it tho because its Jesus's birthday the day He came into the world the day God knew He had to do something to save His people...but really thats not what I want to talk about...not at all...I want to encourage you my readers to believe...now believe in what...well santa of course...now wait before you stop reading and listen up...look at a child...a small one...and what do they believe about Christmas...they believe that santa watches them in all they do and the days leading up to Christmas they try to be as good as they can...because they want that special toy they asked for...they believe one man flys around the world and hands out toys to all boys and girls...what if everyday of every month of every year we behaved because we thought we would get rewarded...this world could be different...a lot of children behave this way mainly in december some the year but most in decemeber...they believe in the good....they are innocent in all this...and we let them continue this way hoping they will grow up to be decent people...they have this faith that no one else can have...childlike faith...something I want you to have...I want you to believe in santa like a child does...and wake up Christmas morn with so much anticipation that it leaps out of you and your eyes sparkle...now I know some of you who read my blog dont believe in God or the same God I believe in...I know some of you doubt that He really exists...but I know He does...and it is my wish this Christmas that you at least believe in santa because we need to believe there is good in this world...and believing in santa with childlike faith is the same way...me and my other Christian friends believe in God...we cant see Him...we also dont see santa...God gives us gifts...so does santa...God watches us in all we do...apparently so does santa...there is only one difference...God really does live today...santa lived at one time in history the story of how he came about is really quite amazing...but God lives today...He still walks this earth and lives in all of us...and I know this...now I am not gonna tell you to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savoiur...I am sure you have heard that enough...and I am not a pushy Christian...all I want is from you is to celebrate this day like a child...get excited...dream big....watch the snow eh go play in it even...hang with family...play games...eat lots...and dont forget...just believe in the good...live this day through the eyes of a child.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-56748913869080409842008-12-15T20:56:00.002-07:002008-12-15T21:09:32.272-07:00Dreams, Blessing and LifeOk so this is almost a little run off from my previous blog about being blessed...I recieved a plane ticket home for Christmas...something that has never happened to me...I never told my mom or many friends so it was a surprise and she almost cried and one of my best friends really did cry...and I didnt know I changed much at all untill I came home and people see it off me...I am living the dream...I am excited about life...and LOVE this journey I am on so much I dont even care about the destination...honestly...I have a great life and I thank everyone who has ever believed in me and I thank everyone who has sowed into me...even with their words....thank you to all...and have a great holiday season...and remember its not about what you get...its about what you give and what Jesus gave to you.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20089516.post-59254898034982584792008-12-07T22:37:00.002-07:002008-12-07T22:41:14.067-07:00BlessedI would just like to mention how blessed I am...its been hard not to have a job here and walk in faith....not know if groceries were goin to be in your cupboards or rent in your hands...and every month I have full cupboards and rent paid...I get to start my job this week which is really exciting...and I have great friends here in Montreal and feel as if this is home...I also feel God is keeping me here longer then I thought...and I dont think He brought me here just for university...I also have some other praise reports but I cant tell you them right now...I will write about it next week...just wanted you all to know I am doing well...and am excited to see whats next.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263327379291399617noreply@blogger.com1