Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Change our world...your way
The mess and confusion that is my thoughts…the swirling tornado of destruction in my mind…never know when its goin to stop or when its goin to explode…always wondering what my next step is…should I go right or left…should go back or forward…most of the time I stand still…and let you push me the way I need to go…most of the time I let my thoughts run wild…while you calm the seas…sometimes I am on my knees pleading…crying…and shouting out to you…I need you now…I need you to save me…I need you and you alone…no one else will do…so please take me where you need me…take me where my heart desires…and what it desires is…a better world…a better future…a memory…a revolution…a voice for the mute…I am begging please…take my life and make it yours…take my life and create change…after all you are the creator of the universe…take my life and make a difference…I am no longer my own mess….I am your creation to do what you will…to do the plans that you have for me…make a better future.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Refreshing
I had the most refreshing weekend of my life...its good to get away from civilization once and awhile...away from internet and cell phones and everything else that bogs us down. I went on the ENR staff retreat this weekend and it was incredable...I saw faces I havent seen in awhile and we laughed so hard and Pastor Landon spoke some words to us...now God just blessed me with the most refreshing weekend...and it wasnt neccassarily the words that Landon spoke but it was the moments in the forest on a three hour hike through the snow and almost peeing your pants because you are laughing so hard that changed my world and rocked it...the dance parties in the cabin in your pjs being a complete idoit but not caring because its freeing is what rocked and changed my world...its those moments that you never planned that you never thought would happen...its those moments that change your world...and those are the moments you need to treasure and remember forever...somethin I have realized in 2007 are friends always come and go...jobs are disposable...houses and cars and all material items are breakable...but life....life is attainable and needed and the most amzing thing you can have...some people take advantage of their life and party till they get sooo wasted they dont know what is goin on...some do extreme activities and really hurt themselves...and some lock themselves up in their rooms and ignore it...but that is not the life God has intended...and I am goin to start living my life...and no more doin what others want me to do...no more sitting here saying I am goin to do this and not do it...because life can be short we dont know how long we will be here.
So another note is I finished my dream list for 2008 for now and here it is:
So another note is I finished my dream list for 2008 for now and here it is:
- Follow my heart
- Rock the world/my city
- Take a stand
- Dont listen to the lies
- Get my voice out there and heard
- Stop being tossed among the waves
This is my dream list not resolutions but dreams that I want to fullfill in 2008 and keep fullfilling them in my future.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Where do I want to be?
I want to be in a place where...its not about me...where people are not selfish and greedy...where all they want is love...where a simple smile changes their world...I want to be in a place where all they want is my love...and possesions dont have them under its spell...I just want to be where people are satisfied with a hug...I want to be in a place that you can play...and laugh and smile and have all the fun in the world...and at the end of the day they dream of what they can do to change someones world...I want to be in a place where my dream infects others...and they begin to dream...I want to be in a world...that can dream.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
2007...a year in review
Well its almost 4am and I am still up and the booze is out of my body...and I am thinkin about my year...was 2007 all I wanted and more...well the answer to that would be "hell no". At the beggining of the year I made better decisions of the year 2007 not resolutions...here were the decions and if they are in italics and bold I did it....
Better Decisions of 2007
No energy drinks
No more swearing
Eat three meals a day
No more alcohol
Start doing devotions
Care about me
Try and control my anger
Work harder
Stop making fun of others
Be a positive role model
Well I acomplished one I worked harder...yes all the others I sucked at...what did I learn this past year? How did it effect my 2008...oh man where to start I learned A LOT...and I have people in my life to thank for that...I am a dreamer and always have been...and well not many dreams were fullfilled this year...so for 2008 I am goin to make dream list...and try to accomplish somethin on that list...somethin huge I want to rock 2008 because 2007 wasnt that great of a year...I will write a better blog but for now peace out and Happy New Year.
Better Decisions of 2007
No energy drinks
No more swearing
Eat three meals a day
No more alcohol
Start doing devotions
Care about me
Try and control my anger
Work harder
Stop making fun of others
Be a positive role model
Well I acomplished one I worked harder...yes all the others I sucked at...what did I learn this past year? How did it effect my 2008...oh man where to start I learned A LOT...and I have people in my life to thank for that...I am a dreamer and always have been...and well not many dreams were fullfilled this year...so for 2008 I am goin to make dream list...and try to accomplish somethin on that list...somethin huge I want to rock 2008 because 2007 wasnt that great of a year...I will write a better blog but for now peace out and Happy New Year.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Debatable or is it?
Ok well reading one of my bestest friends blog I was insipired to do some research...I was up till 2am last night and got up today thinkin about it...here it goes....if a gay couple gets married and has a kid...then they become a Christian...should they get divorced or stay as a gay couple? Now thats an interesting statement...hmm well I know what I think but here let me show you what the bible says...
1 Corinthians 6 The Message
1-4And how dare you take each other to court! When you think you have been wronged, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God's ways instead of a family of Christians? The day is coming when the world is going to stand before a jury made up of followers of Jesus. If someday you are going to rule on the world's fate, wouldn't it be a good idea to practice on some of these smaller cases? Why, we're even going to judge angels! So why not these everyday affairs? As these disagreements and wrongs surface, why would you ever entrust them to the judgment of people you don't trust in any other way?
5-6I say this as bluntly as I can to wake you up to the stupidity of what you're doing. Is it possible that there isn't one levelheaded person among you who can make fair decisions when disagreements and disputes come up? I don't believe it. And here you are taking each other to court before people who don't even believe in God! How can they render justice if they don't believe in the God of justice?
7-8These court cases are an ugly blot on your community. Wouldn't it be far better to just take it, to let yourselves be wronged and forget it? All you're doing is providing fuel for more wrong, more injustice, bringing more hurt to the people of your own spiritual family.
9-11Don't you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don't care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don't qualify as citizens in God's kingdom. A number of you know from experience what I'm talking about, for not so long ago you were on that list. Since then, you've been cleaned up and given a fresh start by Jesus, our Master, our Messiah, and by our God present in us, the Spirit.
12Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims.
13You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body!
14-15God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power. Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master's body. You wouldn't take the Master's body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.
16-20There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
Now I love the message version of the bible because its so blunt...it put it in words even morons can understand sorry bout that but I just love it. Ok so in verse 9-11 it states this you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don't care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don't qualify as citizens in God's kingdom...Now as I read people who abuse sex are not citizens of heaven...therefore I dont think that Gay marriages are even seen as marriage in God's eyes...therefore if one Gay couple would want to get a divorce it wouldnt be a bad thing because the marriage was never a marriage.
Verse 12 says 12Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims...a slave to my whims...now you may ask what a whim is well for those of you who dont know its an arbitrary thought or impulse and arbitrary means a subject to individual will or judgment without restriction; contingent solely upon one's discretion...upon ones discretion well I guess if we decided to live like that then...drinking so much till I dont know what is going on would be ok...because drinking is legal...getting drunk is legal...so as a Christian I can get drunk...hmm NOT...because that would make me a slave and I dont want that.
Near the end of this chapter it reads...we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one."...well the only sex that we become in is sex between a man and a women...now gay sex not become one leaves you emptier then you were before.
There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
So in conclusion my opinion is...it would be better for them to get a divorce and live the way God had intended...as their marriage is not real in Gods eyes...because in Gods eyes the only marriage that is real is between a man and a women.
1 Corinthians 6 The Message
1-4And how dare you take each other to court! When you think you have been wronged, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God's ways instead of a family of Christians? The day is coming when the world is going to stand before a jury made up of followers of Jesus. If someday you are going to rule on the world's fate, wouldn't it be a good idea to practice on some of these smaller cases? Why, we're even going to judge angels! So why not these everyday affairs? As these disagreements and wrongs surface, why would you ever entrust them to the judgment of people you don't trust in any other way?
5-6I say this as bluntly as I can to wake you up to the stupidity of what you're doing. Is it possible that there isn't one levelheaded person among you who can make fair decisions when disagreements and disputes come up? I don't believe it. And here you are taking each other to court before people who don't even believe in God! How can they render justice if they don't believe in the God of justice?
7-8These court cases are an ugly blot on your community. Wouldn't it be far better to just take it, to let yourselves be wronged and forget it? All you're doing is providing fuel for more wrong, more injustice, bringing more hurt to the people of your own spiritual family.
9-11Don't you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don't care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don't qualify as citizens in God's kingdom. A number of you know from experience what I'm talking about, for not so long ago you were on that list. Since then, you've been cleaned up and given a fresh start by Jesus, our Master, our Messiah, and by our God present in us, the Spirit.
12Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims.
13You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body!
14-15God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power. Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master's body. You wouldn't take the Master's body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.
16-20There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
Now I love the message version of the bible because its so blunt...it put it in words even morons can understand sorry bout that but I just love it. Ok so in verse 9-11 it states this you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don't care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don't qualify as citizens in God's kingdom...Now as I read people who abuse sex are not citizens of heaven...therefore I dont think that Gay marriages are even seen as marriage in God's eyes...therefore if one Gay couple would want to get a divorce it wouldnt be a bad thing because the marriage was never a marriage.
Verse 12 says 12Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims...a slave to my whims...now you may ask what a whim is well for those of you who dont know its an arbitrary thought or impulse and arbitrary means a subject to individual will or judgment without restriction; contingent solely upon one's discretion...upon ones discretion well I guess if we decided to live like that then...drinking so much till I dont know what is going on would be ok...because drinking is legal...getting drunk is legal...so as a Christian I can get drunk...hmm NOT...because that would make me a slave and I dont want that.
Near the end of this chapter it reads...we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one."...well the only sex that we become in is sex between a man and a women...now gay sex not become one leaves you emptier then you were before.
There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
So in conclusion my opinion is...it would be better for them to get a divorce and live the way God had intended...as their marriage is not real in Gods eyes...because in Gods eyes the only marriage that is real is between a man and a women.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Tis the season
...to be a grouch? No way its the season to remind the people you love that you love them...its the season to celebrate the one person who shows us unconditional love at all times...the one that does for us more then anyone of us could do for anyone else...Jesus deserves our focus and attention...everyone is racing around doin last minute shopping to get the best gifts to make their loved ones happy...yes I did get some rad stuff that I asked for but...its not about that...I still remember what Jesus has done for me...this is His day...He was born this day...for a purpose a reason...dont forget that...just like you celebrate your birthday and that you were born for a purpose dont forget that Jesus was born today...to show us how to live...to show us how to love...to just show us...who we are...then He died...so that we can do all that and be free...so this holiday season before you yell at someone...before you swear because people are annoying you...before you are disapointed because you didnt get what you wanted...remember that its not your day...its for Jesus....have a great Christmas everyone...I love you all...BE LOVE.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Not what I expected
Sometimes when God sets a dream in your heart..one so powerful...so life changing...so extreme...doesnt mean its goin to happen right away...doesnt mean you are to just go...sometimes God is workin on another dream of yours...and He never changes His plans for our lives we change our plans...and right now all I am doin is walkin in faith and trusting I am doin the right thing even tho its extremly hard...and all I want to do is run the opposite direction...but with how much I want to do somethin else I am not...I am walkin in faith with my God...trustin He knows what He is doin...workin on a dream that I am able to have Victory over...still I am stoked for 2008 its the year of change and newness...and adventure..not the type of adventure I had planned for...but it will be an adventure...well here I come world....watch out I have a plan up my sleeves....get ready
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Time...Peace...New
Incredible…divine…fantastic…needed….those words describe my weekend…as I have been goin through some things that have tested me patience…my trust…my obedience…and just my faith. But I am still standing…I am still persevering…I am still walking…and I will fight. As I sit there last night at a party for a friend who is leaving this week for awhile to do her missions in other places…I got thinking wow am I ever proud of her…for doing what God has placed in her heart to do…God is goin to do huge things through her and yes its been a stressful time for her as she is moving across the world…but look at her obedience…look at her trust…taught me a lot…as I am turning the pages in my book and chasing my own dreams. Then I got to spend quality time with a great friend last night…laughing, sharing, and just getting deeper in our friendship and I am just so thankful to have her in my life…I am thankful to have all the people that I have in my life…they all mean so much to me…no matter if we still talk or if we don’t talk…I love them all. Then today as I was sitting in church I was watching this little boy as we were worshiping and he kept getting closer and closer to the stage…and that’s what my spirit felt like today…all I wanted was to be close to my God, my Dad…that’s all I wanted I had an intense worship session…where my whole entire being was crying out to hear the voice to feel the touch of the almighty God.
The funniest part of my life…is that nobody understands why I do what I do…and that’s perfectly fine with me…because I am following my heart…my dreams…and my what God has told me to do…I am stoked for the change that is about to come…and I know its right as well…I have peace. For once in my life I am not doin what others think I should be doin I am doin what I know I should be doin. There is a song by superchick called “Me against the World” it’s the story of my life…the beginning of the song says “wanna quit and give up, something says to pack it up, shot down from all sides” then it continues on later saying “they said don’t try changing the world you are just a girl” then it goes on “me against the world today I am gonna do it my own way…though no one understands I am goin to make the one girl stand…then at the end of the chorus it says “if we believe and we have faith we are goin to change the world someday” and I totally believe this…this song is an amazing song…and though no one understands why I do what I do…I am goin to change the world someday…a new chapter is being written in my life…and now is the time for me to chase a dream…my spirit is jumping out of my skin…saying lets go.
The funniest part of my life…is that nobody understands why I do what I do…and that’s perfectly fine with me…because I am following my heart…my dreams…and my what God has told me to do…I am stoked for the change that is about to come…and I know its right as well…I have peace. For once in my life I am not doin what others think I should be doin I am doin what I know I should be doin. There is a song by superchick called “Me against the World” it’s the story of my life…the beginning of the song says “wanna quit and give up, something says to pack it up, shot down from all sides” then it continues on later saying “they said don’t try changing the world you are just a girl” then it goes on “me against the world today I am gonna do it my own way…though no one understands I am goin to make the one girl stand…then at the end of the chorus it says “if we believe and we have faith we are goin to change the world someday” and I totally believe this…this song is an amazing song…and though no one understands why I do what I do…I am goin to change the world someday…a new chapter is being written in my life…and now is the time for me to chase a dream…my spirit is jumping out of my skin…saying lets go.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Airlines
So I was on an airline website the other day lookin at the weight of bags you are allowed to take on...well I got thinkin if I am 150lbs and joe blow is 200lbs I should be able to bring another 50lbs with me they put this limit on how much a bag can weigh but they dont put a limit on how much a person can weigh so I can shove all my items in clothes and weigh 300lbs and board the plane...hmm interesting thought eh?
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Be prepared...
What will you do when I am gone? Who will you ignore? Who will you come running to when everyone else has walked out? Who can you say whatever you want to and will still for you...even if you dont like them? Be prepared for the day I leave...to the place I dream of...to my new life...in a new city...in a new province.
Most people dream of islands and beaches....I dream of tall buildings and an office...cement all around me that is paradise...I dream of buisness clothes where you may dream of a string bikini I dream to carry briefcase....with important papers.
When I am gone who will you try to control? Who will you make fun of...to make yourself feel bigger? Who...when I am gone?
What I hope when I write these words and I leave this place...is that you think of what you missed out on...the love and joy we shared...no longer exists...the relationships we had no longer are there...this emptiness resides...and I have moved on...to my tall buildings and office spaces.
Be prepared....that day is comin soon.
Most people dream of islands and beaches....I dream of tall buildings and an office...cement all around me that is paradise...I dream of buisness clothes where you may dream of a string bikini I dream to carry briefcase....with important papers.
When I am gone who will you try to control? Who will you make fun of...to make yourself feel bigger? Who...when I am gone?
What I hope when I write these words and I leave this place...is that you think of what you missed out on...the love and joy we shared...no longer exists...the relationships we had no longer are there...this emptiness resides...and I have moved on...to my tall buildings and office spaces.
Be prepared....that day is comin soon.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Dying in the church
People are always like we want more people in the churches…we want unity between the churches…we want to show people Jesus…we want to be more relevant…we want…we want…we want…what about what God wants?
There is a problem sweeping our nation that no one seems to think is a problem. Its growing churches and creating ways to be relevant where its no more about God its about numbers. Its about looking good and being the hottest thing out there. Its about what we have and what you don’t have…that’s not what it should be about.
Its time to fix a problem that most people are blind to…I would rather worship God in a shack with no instruments just voices and sitting on the floor listening to someone speak Gods word and feel full then to be in a huge church with huge screens and beautiful decorations and feel empty. I want God not man…I want to hear His word not what man thinks I should hear…I want to hear someone who can hear God…someone who will obey God and speak His word.
I want more people in the church but I also want relationship with them…I want relationship with the leaders of the church…I want family within the church so that you have support…I don’t fakeness.
Nothing is wrong with being relevant a lot is wrong with the look at me attitude. You may not even know you have that type of attitude…just look deep down in your heart and say what is my motive…why am I doing what I am doing?
Unity between churches is something I have always believed for…and apparently others have too like I said “apparently” but as soon as you say something that someone else has…someone has to defend it and say yeah but we have this…that’s not unity…why cant we work together why cant we help each other out with each others ministries? Don’t we serve the same God? Aren't we here for the same reason to bring heaven to earth and show people the life they could have with Jesus? That’s not what it looks like…the reason churches are not united is because of the men and women who want to say that they started something and don’t want to share it. That’s not unity and we wont be unified until pride steps out of the way.
We aren’t showin them Jesus we are showin them how to become prideful…we are showing them that you need to have a nice house and a nice car and to look great and to wear the hottest fashions to get anywhere in life…that’s not Jesus…I want to show people that if they are poor they can have Jesus if they are rich they can have Jesus…and yes God will bless us and he doesn’t want us to be poor…but its not only about that…its about so much more.
There is nothing wring with being relevant…being a big church…lookin good…or plain old just reaching out…just we need to do it with the right motive.
I will not stand to watch people die in the church…to watch people walk around confused and not knowing whats goin on…I will not watch people looked down upon because they don’t have the latest fashion.
Oh but don’t mention it to these churches cause nothing is wrong with them…they are perfect…and they will continue on with there beautiful look and continue growing in numbers…and they will let their people be walking zombies feeling crap…but as long as they keep growing they will see nothing wrong…bring the people in but how do you have relationship with 500 people not possible…don’t mention it to them they don’t want to hear it…they will keep making the outside look good and be blind to the inside but they will be the first to tell you what is wrong with you....church staff are no different then politicians.
There is a problem sweeping our nation that no one seems to think is a problem. Its growing churches and creating ways to be relevant where its no more about God its about numbers. Its about looking good and being the hottest thing out there. Its about what we have and what you don’t have…that’s not what it should be about.
Its time to fix a problem that most people are blind to…I would rather worship God in a shack with no instruments just voices and sitting on the floor listening to someone speak Gods word and feel full then to be in a huge church with huge screens and beautiful decorations and feel empty. I want God not man…I want to hear His word not what man thinks I should hear…I want to hear someone who can hear God…someone who will obey God and speak His word.
I want more people in the church but I also want relationship with them…I want relationship with the leaders of the church…I want family within the church so that you have support…I don’t fakeness.
Nothing is wrong with being relevant a lot is wrong with the look at me attitude. You may not even know you have that type of attitude…just look deep down in your heart and say what is my motive…why am I doing what I am doing?
Unity between churches is something I have always believed for…and apparently others have too like I said “apparently” but as soon as you say something that someone else has…someone has to defend it and say yeah but we have this…that’s not unity…why cant we work together why cant we help each other out with each others ministries? Don’t we serve the same God? Aren't we here for the same reason to bring heaven to earth and show people the life they could have with Jesus? That’s not what it looks like…the reason churches are not united is because of the men and women who want to say that they started something and don’t want to share it. That’s not unity and we wont be unified until pride steps out of the way.
We aren’t showin them Jesus we are showin them how to become prideful…we are showing them that you need to have a nice house and a nice car and to look great and to wear the hottest fashions to get anywhere in life…that’s not Jesus…I want to show people that if they are poor they can have Jesus if they are rich they can have Jesus…and yes God will bless us and he doesn’t want us to be poor…but its not only about that…its about so much more.
There is nothing wring with being relevant…being a big church…lookin good…or plain old just reaching out…just we need to do it with the right motive.
I will not stand to watch people die in the church…to watch people walk around confused and not knowing whats goin on…I will not watch people looked down upon because they don’t have the latest fashion.
Oh but don’t mention it to these churches cause nothing is wrong with them…they are perfect…and they will continue on with there beautiful look and continue growing in numbers…and they will let their people be walking zombies feeling crap…but as long as they keep growing they will see nothing wrong…bring the people in but how do you have relationship with 500 people not possible…don’t mention it to them they don’t want to hear it…they will keep making the outside look good and be blind to the inside but they will be the first to tell you what is wrong with you....church staff are no different then politicians.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Video Blogging
This is my new thing...I am goin to do video blogs once in awhile so that you the readers can feel what I have to say. The face behind the words...enjoy.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Sad and touching all in one
A mother is frantically looking around the house looking for her bra...yelling at the dog saying "did you take it again"...she cant seem to find it anywhere...she is upset because she cant afford to get a new one right now...livin from paycheck to paycheck doesnt allow for that...her son...not understanding the value of money wants his favorite cereal she cant afford to get it for him...she cant afford to get her sons favorite things...livin paycheck to paycheck doesnt allow for that...not being able to find her bra still she gathers up all the pop bottles in the house and takes them down to the bottle depot...she then goes to the store and what does she buy...her sons favorite cereal...as I sit here and see this I see the meaning of sacrifice...I see a real mother who wants to make her child happy...she isnt greedy...she doesnt hoard...she gives to him...her one and only love in this world...the one she cares about...later she finds her bra...thinkin maybe someone else was lookin out for her.
This blog was goin to be about poverty but as I was writing it...I saw sacrifice...I saw real, raw love...the kind one should learn to have....I have another story for you that I saw today that deals with poverty.
I saw a man riding his bike around with many plastic bags on the handles not filled with food but pop bottles...he is collecting them for money...the later on in my day I was walking and I looked and saw this man his bike was leaning against the tree...and he was cleaning what I think he calls home...he was gettin rid of all the gross things out there under that bridge...he makin a spot to rest down there....where he lives.
Why are we letting this happen? What did we do wrong to have to make these people live like this...winter months are coming and they are goin to freeze...they cant live under bridges...we say God needs to help them like we have no resources when we have everything...if we banned together all these people wouldnt be living outside...poverty needs to stop here...for this mans sake...and the mother with the child.
This blog was goin to be about poverty but as I was writing it...I saw sacrifice...I saw real, raw love...the kind one should learn to have....I have another story for you that I saw today that deals with poverty.
I saw a man riding his bike around with many plastic bags on the handles not filled with food but pop bottles...he is collecting them for money...the later on in my day I was walking and I looked and saw this man his bike was leaning against the tree...and he was cleaning what I think he calls home...he was gettin rid of all the gross things out there under that bridge...he makin a spot to rest down there....where he lives.
Why are we letting this happen? What did we do wrong to have to make these people live like this...winter months are coming and they are goin to freeze...they cant live under bridges...we say God needs to help them like we have no resources when we have everything...if we banned together all these people wouldnt be living outside...poverty needs to stop here...for this mans sake...and the mother with the child.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Scarecrow
Standing there all alone...in the day and night air...once in awhile a bird comes to land on you for a chat...your job to keep them away from the garden...solitude is all you know its a long time friend...you look around and dream what life would be if you could just move...if you could just walk...but you are fake and not real...so your legs dont work...there isnt in even a brain in that stuffed head of yours......your arms are on sticks makin them stick out...all your job is....is to keep the birds away...what if you could walk...what if you could talk...what would you say...what would you do?
Dont be a scarecrow.....go and do somethin.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Cry out
Cry out for the lost...the broken...and the searching...cry out for them so that they can see...see Your love...real love...true love...and see who they are.
So many people in this world dont understand that God is truly real...that He really is for them and not against them...some people dont understand that they to can have Him in their lives...that a relationship with God is never ending...and He will never stop loving them even they fall away.
I have fallin away so many times and every time God is like come back to me...I am the only one that is goin to satisfy you...I am the only one that you will feel happy with...I am the only one you can truly trust and no one can love you like I can...and this is totally true...God is the one we need and the one that is goin to satisfy us...we need to stop lookin for other things to fullfill us...we all try relationships and drugs or alcohol and other things and its never goin to fill us.
God picks me up and sets on me on the right track and shows me where I need to be and dusts me off.
I dont know where all this is comin from but I felt that I needed to write it all done...we need to cry out for the lost and broken...we need to cry out so that they can see God..the real God...the Father God...the one who loves is and is searching for them...He wants us to pursue Him so we need to...we need to reach out and touch Him and really dig deep into who He is...this is my cry for you.
So many people in this world dont understand that God is truly real...that He really is for them and not against them...some people dont understand that they to can have Him in their lives...that a relationship with God is never ending...and He will never stop loving them even they fall away.
I have fallin away so many times and every time God is like come back to me...I am the only one that is goin to satisfy you...I am the only one that you will feel happy with...I am the only one you can truly trust and no one can love you like I can...and this is totally true...God is the one we need and the one that is goin to satisfy us...we need to stop lookin for other things to fullfill us...we all try relationships and drugs or alcohol and other things and its never goin to fill us.
God picks me up and sets on me on the right track and shows me where I need to be and dusts me off.
I dont know where all this is comin from but I felt that I needed to write it all done...we need to cry out for the lost and broken...we need to cry out so that they can see God..the real God...the Father God...the one who loves is and is searching for them...He wants us to pursue Him so we need to...we need to reach out and touch Him and really dig deep into who He is...this is my cry for you.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
If they knew...
I sit in around a crowded fire pit listening to all the laughter and watchin all the smiles. Feeling very loved and touched that they all showed up. Thinkin I have great friends they all came because of me...because I was born on this day. Makes my heart happy. As I am sitting there thinkin about this...if they only knew...my thoughts. If they only knew that inside I felt alone...if they only knew I am lost...and invisable...if they only knew. I laugh and smile so they think I am happy...this is my day...my favorite day of the entire world...and I didnt have the time of my life...I ate cake and that made me happy....I had great hugs from great friends and that made me happy...but still lost and confused and invisable...why do I feel this way...Daddy help me...come to me and be with me and make me feel whole again...if they only knew the dangerous thoughts...the bad thoughts...and the lonliness I feel...if they only knew...would they even care?
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Dont look back
For real dont do it...ok so I read this most amazing story in the bible the other day that I have never heard of...it was in Genesis and it was the story of when Lot was fleeing his city and God said dont look back but his wife did and she turned into a pillar of salt...well I got huge revelation out of this and it was like a really sweet story...she turned into salt people...ok I wasnt brought up in the church so I never had heard this story before and I loved it...so here it is.
God said dont look back...and she did...so He turned her into somethin that wasnt a very big deal in those days...cause salt was everywhere you could get it anywhere...and she was salt so who cares about that pillar of salt who cares...see what I am trying to get at is who cares what your past is...who cares what you did wrong...who cares...all that matters now is who you are now...who you are goin to become...dont look back...dont turn your head even to the side and peep out of the corner of your eye...drop what you are trying to hold onto and keep goin forward.
There is no point in holding onto those things cause they are just goin to weigh you down...they are goin to pull you backwards or worse...keep you standing still and that my friends is bad...you need to just go...and do be turned into a pillar of salt because you made the mistake in lookin back.
Keep your eyes on God and He will direct you where to go...trust Him.
God said dont look back...and she did...so He turned her into somethin that wasnt a very big deal in those days...cause salt was everywhere you could get it anywhere...and she was salt so who cares about that pillar of salt who cares...see what I am trying to get at is who cares what your past is...who cares what you did wrong...who cares...all that matters now is who you are now...who you are goin to become...dont look back...dont turn your head even to the side and peep out of the corner of your eye...drop what you are trying to hold onto and keep goin forward.
There is no point in holding onto those things cause they are just goin to weigh you down...they are goin to pull you backwards or worse...keep you standing still and that my friends is bad...you need to just go...and do be turned into a pillar of salt because you made the mistake in lookin back.
Keep your eyes on God and He will direct you where to go...trust Him.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
I think I have gone insane
Ok so here it is folks I am now listenin to country music...I offically have become insane...I hate the stuff but some of it I have grown to like its so weird cause I would be the first to boycott it...I would be the first one to say are you seroius we are not listenin to this...Jello I dunno if you did this to me...but I am enjoying a bit of country lately...maybe I am depressed...Nikki Out!
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Kills me inside
Watching you dream and supporting them like I should...hearing you cry out and listening to every word...it kills me inside to know...that I am not in your mind...to see you chase one who doesnt even know you exist...kills me inside...as I sit here the pain goes deeper...do I need to change...do I need to live up to your standards...do I need to prove...prove I can make you happy...I am me and thats who I am...accept it...I am not changing anytime soon...life will go on...and I will survive without you...but it would be nice to have you in my arms...it would be nice to tell you...I care about you...to tell you...I believe in you...to tell you...I love you...to have the life we both dreamed of...its hard to keep silent...its hard to hear you talk about ones who dont even know you exist...its hard to sit here and wait...but I am strong...I will go on...and I will pray untill the day you see me...for me.
Monday, August 27, 2007
This one time...
So this one time...I came home from an amazing place called a ranch and crashed really hard...then I hung out with a great friend and she kicked my butt....and showed me that I needed to smarten up.
Ok but for real here is the story readers and friends...I became apathetic and hated everything and just plain old didnt care...and then I got talkin about my life and passions and what I want to do with it and stuff...and got excited again...you see I think myself into frustration and thats why I get in these moods...and yeah its just somethin I need to stop doing and I need to stand up and say I am not goin to stay in this rebelous spirit and the doing things my way and everything I am goin to live God's way even tho my attitudes and some ways of thinkin are still there I just need to work past this and keep goin...now I know this is rollercoaster Nicole that you all know but I am goin to work harder and keep trying.
One thing that has gotten me down is talkin about my dreams and people laughin at them expecially the ones of me becoming a politician...yeah but for now this is me leavin here sayin I am goin to work hard ok...peace out.
Ok but for real here is the story readers and friends...I became apathetic and hated everything and just plain old didnt care...and then I got talkin about my life and passions and what I want to do with it and stuff...and got excited again...you see I think myself into frustration and thats why I get in these moods...and yeah its just somethin I need to stop doing and I need to stand up and say I am not goin to stay in this rebelous spirit and the doing things my way and everything I am goin to live God's way even tho my attitudes and some ways of thinkin are still there I just need to work past this and keep goin...now I know this is rollercoaster Nicole that you all know but I am goin to work harder and keep trying.
One thing that has gotten me down is talkin about my dreams and people laughin at them expecially the ones of me becoming a politician...yeah but for now this is me leavin here sayin I am goin to work hard ok...peace out.
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