Sunday, June 29, 2008

Why do I work in childcare?

People always wonder why I work with children...haha and for awhile I did too. Cause kids can make you want to pull your hair out...they can make you go completly crazy and so worn down you feel like you could sleep for days....but I love working with them I love watchin them reach milestones...I love being there for them...but on friday I remembered why I work with children and why I am there...there is no better feeling the letting a sick baby sleep on your chest...when everytime you try to put it down it cries and once its in your arms its completly content and happy to be where it feel needed and wanted is the most amazing feeling...and thats what I get when I work with children...I am there to teach them the world in some of the most important and teachable years...before they experiance school we are there preparing them...and watching them grow...its so amazing and I love here is why I work with they know someone gives a that they believe in that they learn to dream...I want that for them...I want them to be successful in they take on the world...after all they are the future...and investing in worth it.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

My heart breaks for the unknown

Take a minute and think about your life...your back in even junoir high school...think hard and long...who were you?..what did you wear? did you act around people?..who did you want to become?

So did you think about? Ok I will wait a little longer.

When you thought about your past did you know you were goin to become the person you are today?..Did you know that you would ignore the problems of today?..Did you know that all you were goin to think about was your success or your own problems?...Did you know you were goin to ignore those around you calling out for help?

Ok now maybe some of you arent that person...maybe you do care about them...maybe you think about others all the time...maybe you want to change the world...and make it a better place.

When you were young a child...a teenager or whatever...did you know you would be where you are today?...I bet those people on the streets didnt think they would be on the streets...I bet those people that are homeless never thought they would be there...I wonder what was said to them or done to them in their past.

Do you ever sit and watch them...breaks my heart...signs of lonliness on their faces...sad...and where to go...I sit in the park downtown Calgary and just these people act with others or dont these people look...what their habits are...and to be honest breaks my heart.

I am guilty of it to...thinking about my success and where I have gotten...but mainly I think about my success is because no one said I could do it...that could be me in that park but instead I made the choice not let labels and words destroy me. I made the choice to succeed against all odds...and I dont let people or other things stand in my way...obsticales are just opportunities.

Back to where I was goin...I have never seen this many homeless people...or any homeless person...yeah maybe some of them choose to be homeless but what about those you dont...those you are rejected by society, those you walk by and they dont ask you for spare change the quiet ones no one notices...the lady in the park with the shopping cart...I see her every weekend...she has her head lowered down and doesnt look at you in the eye...the other day was the first day I saw her with an apple...looked so fresh...and juicy...I wonder when the last time she ate was.

She looks old...but it could be the years spent on the streets...her shopping cart is full to the top...wrapped in garbage bags so you are unable to see her belongings...she is always bundled up never showing even the skin on her arms...she is interesting...and intriguing...and I want to know her...not just what I see...but actually know her.

I have spent a lot of time watching her from a distance and even close up without her noticing me...but now I want to show her that...she exists...not that I exist...but that she her someone notices her and gives her attention...and wants to know her...not the surface her...but deep her...the her that has many stories...the her that has potential.

I dont like getting credit for a gift God has given me...I want Him to have the credit...people here in Calgary have been amazing and have told me I am great at my job and no one has ever said anything negative to me here...its like I am living in a dream...this cant be real has to be a dream...there is no way someone like me can be truly happy...but I am and its weird at times still...I love my job and the people I am surrounded by...I love this city and this life...I dont want to be the hero or the great one...I dont even want to be good...I just want to be me...and I want people to see my Creator through me...let Him shine.

By the time I leave this city I will know that lady...I will know who she really is.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

My success...and purpose

Being a dreamer in a doubting world is probably the hardest life to live...and some dont even dare go near that life...well I do...I have always been a dreamer...I have always believed I could do anything if I tried really hard...sometimes I get frustrated at myself...and wonder why I took the chance...and sometimes I see my success and get so proud of myself that I want the world to know.

I look at my life right now...and never in any life time thought I would be where I am today...I have probably the most amazing job anyone could have...I take care of their early years where their minds are so moldable...where their innocence hasnt been takin away...where you are their hero...I love my hasnt always been this way...I just about gave up on this career...untill I saw a place that made this job worth it...that showed me there are amazing caregivers out there...that showed me there are people out there just like me...who believe in these children and that truly believe they come warms my heart to see this...and I have hope for their future.

Not only do I have an amazing job...I am back in the city where I was born...and loving it...I know that inside I have always been a big city girl but was stuck in a small city...I have always dreamed of walking down the street in a large city with the buildings so tall they almost reach the clouds...I am there...I am here.

Now the most amazing part of my life is where I am going next...totally out of my comfort zone...totally out of my social network...totally on my own...I am going somewhere high school teachers told me I would never end up...I am going to a place I never thought I was cut out for...I am going to University...and that is amazing to a totally different city and province I will be packing up my life in less then two months and on a journey to an even bigger dream then I could have ever dreamed...because I am successful and I will succeed.

If you ask me I have already succeed in life...I have some pretty sweet people in my life that have helped me grow along the way...some have only been in my life for a season and some maybe only a day...but all have made an impact on me and all have created this wonderful mind...this dreamer...this world changer...and possibly someday Prime Minister of Canada.

My life isnt where I thought it would be...but my life is exactly where I want it...and I wouldnt want to change it for the for those of you who read this and know me as a joker...a person who likes to crazy and silly...there is a deeper me...that some do know...there is a deeper me that wants to see a better world...and is taking steps in making sure it for now being a dreamer in a doubting world is hard work...but someone has to do it...someone has to make sure the future is safe for your children and our childrens children and so on...that is my mission...that is my life.