Saturday, January 21, 2012


One day your sitting here...then your sitting there...and then all of a sudden you feel nowhere. So much change that your mind is spinning. And somewhere in there you lost yourself.

Life can be overwhelming and sometimes your not sure if your making the right choices. You just have to trust you know what your doing.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Figured it out

Yay I figured out which email and stuff I used to get on to my blog so here I am again blogging here. So check back for updates soon.

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Things I have learned in Montreal

Wow its been awhile since I blogged and I need to continue doing it as its a great stress reliever.

I have been reflecting a lot on life as a chapter is about to end and a new one start. My life has been interesting and weird at times but I love it. So here is what I have learned in the past 3 years.

Things I learned while living in Montreal. First thing I would like to say its an amazing place that you definitely need to check out once in your life. Its a passionate and free place. Its a place you can be yourself and be accepted.

So the first thing I learned is be yourself. You aren't going to be happy trying to be someone else. Watching everyone in this city be themselves...people who wouldn't be accepted in other places. Even though I don't agree with their lifestyle at least they are themselves.

Second thing is see the beauty even in what seems ugly. This city looks dirty at times there is garbage and homeless and other things all over the place. But this city is so beautiful...there are hidden treasures and secret get aways. It can be some hole in the wall coffee shop or some busy parc. There is so many places and things to do that make life amazing here.

Another thing I learned...stop and take a breather. This whole city is chill. People aren't really in a hurry. Some will just sit all day on the benches and watch the world go by. Its really great.

One of the main things I learned here is the french language....its beautiful and its amazing. I am so happy to know a second language and be able to speak to a people who seem misunderstood. Language is important...and this will take me into something else I learned here and that is french Canadians are misunderstood by the rest of Canada. Its not their fault its just we don't speak the language...and I don't mean french. Communicating is more then language...its listening as well and its finding out what people actually need. The french Canadians just want to be listened to...and we need to listen with compassion. Because the french language is beautiful.

There is many more things I have learned while living here its not possible to write everything that 3 years has taught me. I have changed thoughts and opinions and my look. If there is one thing that I know its that I am a changed person that will be coming back to Alberta.

This has been a great experience and I know I have learned the things I was supposed to learn. I am very excited about the next chapter in my life. Cant wait to see what happens in the next 3 or so years and where life takes me.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

The Runners Battle

Running is a blast and its great exercise. But your opponent is mean and viscous and can really tear you down. You get out there and your doing well and your opponent whom I call the enemy smiles at you and says you cant do this. Give up now...I will win. You start slowing down and you realize you are in over your head. Then your opponent says ha ha told you so just stop why put yourself through this. You start to wonder why you started in the first place...then you speed up. You see the person on the side lines cheering your name then you realize I can do this. The enemy gets even worse and says things like...your body will hurt after this, your not gonna get a PB...your gonna make a fool of yourself. But you just gotta shut out that opponent and keep going. You have to remember the amazing feeling of accomplishment you get after this race.

And you thought running was a solo sport. Well mostly it is...the opponent is yourself. During a race or just an everyday run you can convince yourself you suck more then anyone else can. You can be the worst thing for yourself. But you can also be the person who build you up as well. For me I am very good at convincing myself I will never get better so why even try. But I know I have gotten better.

Positive thinking is half the battle...yes you need to get into shape and all that...but just thinking you can do it really helps.

Another thing that has helped me a lot is the fact I am surrounded by people who are encouraging...joining a club was the best thing I did.

Every week I know I am hard on myself and I do get upset if I haven't beatin a time that I am convinced I can do but I just want to be the best...I want to be an amazing runner. I know with time I will succeed my goals. I am still running with that pain in my sides that is off and on. But I am not letting it stop me.

So for 2011 I am going to do as many 5km races as I can and I am going to do my first Half Marathon. For my 5km my goal is to break 25min...I know I can do this. I know that I am only do them at 29 right now but I believe I can do this. And that's half the battle.

So if you read my blogs then continue this journey with me and lets see where I end up this year in the running scene. And as long as I get out there I know I already won the battle.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The only thing I can think about lately is running. When I am in a bad mood I wanna run because it helps. When I am in a good mood I wanna run cause its fun. Even when I am in a lazy mood I think of somethin maybe not running but something that invloves working out. I have been going to the gym a lot lately and just really working on being the best runner I can be. I want to take the 2011 racing season by storm. I did really well this year in my first 6months of running which I still cant believe I have held on this long its amazing.

You learn a lot of things about yourself when you pick up something like this. You learn what you are willing to go through to succeed. I was still running for months with a pain in my side. After tests its still undetermined what it is. But in the last couple of weeks it also hasnt been there so I dunno. Also I am not one of the fastest runners in my club heck I might even be the slowest but I still work hard. I want to be a faster runner thats my goal. I want to be able to do 5kms super fast. I will also be doing my first half marathon in the fall of next year which is cool.

The most interesting part is the battle that goes on in the mind when racing. Your body is telling you to stop and sometimes your head is almost convinced...but there is this other voice telling me to keep going. One time during track one of the women told me just to keep going and never stop and so I always think of that and I dont stop....even if I have to run slower I am still running. If your brain tells your body it can keep going it can.

We just had our end of the year party for our club and it was awesome. It really is like a family our little running family. Everyone is so great and fun to chill with. I just let myself go and had fun with all of them which I am still learning to be myself with them. I have been a quiet one and anyone who knows the real Nikki knows thats not the case. I am not quiet be no means. But I am letting that Nikki out bit by bit there. I am super comfortable with a bunch of them and am meeting more and more runners in the club that are just a blast to chill with.

Now that I am 6months into this running adventure it has no longer become something I think I will do for awhile but it has become a lifelong adventure to me. I know it...I love it. Which will be like the first thing I never started and quit. This is my new lifestyle and I am a runner.

Going into 2011 I have many goals for my running and other things but I will write an end of the year blog in a week. I just decided to write a new blog cause I havent kept it up in the last couple of months but said I would. That is one of my goals for 2011 is to keep this up so you all know what is going on in my life and thoughts...near or far. Hope everyone has a great Christmas and dont forget why we actually celebrate this day.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Adventures in running

You have your shorts and t-shirt. You grab your shoes...ahh the laces so familier you tie them they way you always do. Grab your ipod with your favorite tunes...then you step out the door. That first step to the pavement is a step towards victory. As you head down the street the wind in your face and its you against you. You keep going and start to feel the pains in your legs telling you to stop but you keep going. All of a sudden you become aware of every muscle and every breath. Focusing on the music and your thoughts you push through...telling yourself this is my day and I got this. Finally you are rounding your last corner and you see your house and you are back for a nice shower and a snack...and you are proud that you went out at all.

Running has been an adventure for I never thought I would take on. It has become more then something I do but something I have become. I live my life around it...everything I do I ask the question how will this effect my running. My eating habits, my sleeping habits and just my daily life I have become a runner. I am a runner. I feel weird sayng that because I feel like it takes years of training and some medals under your belt before you can be called that. But its not true...I have been running for about 4months now...and I am a runner. I think I have improved since my first awkward day on the track in the rain with people I didnt know. Now I look forward to running and I get upset...very upset when I cant. I love just randomly running in my neighborhood and getting lost and finding my way home its so fun and a great way to get to know the city better.

I have always started things and quit them but this is something I dont want to quit. I have thought of quitting many times...but I dont want to. Its hard but the reward is so much more. Everytime I go out there and run I doubt at first I am not gonna make it I say and then I surprise myself and actually do it. Even tho I have only done a couple of races they are awesome. Super hard but awesome...near the last km I always think if quitting or in the first km I think why the heck am I doin this maybe I should just walk. But then I get to the finish line and its all over and I just had victory. All I have to say is I got this. Its really a mind thing you would be surprised what you can convince your body of doing.

Running has become tougher for me recently as I have a weird pain in my side and now in my chest. The doctor doesnt know what it is. But I am not letting it stop me...I do listen to my body and slow down when it gets worse and somedays I cant even go out. Those are the worst...not running is hard...I cant not run. But I continue and push on and I know it will get resolved.

Theres nothing like ending a hard stressful day with an amazing night run. You come home relaxed and ready to sleep and take on the next day cause the faster you get to sleep the closer you get to running again. Once you start you cant stop its addicting...its who you are. And its become who I am. This is me a runner. Never thought I would say that...never knew I liked running.

I am surrounded by great people who cheer you on and dont look down on you for being slow and I really appreciate that. I love the people I run with cause I can learn from them and feel great about myself as well. Also its great to have a group of people cause I think its important to have this encouragment so you dont quit. I know for me if I didnt have the people and the coach around I wouldnt be where I am today with running and I prob wouldnt be doing it anymore. My favorite day is wednesday when I get to run with these encouraging people. I look forward to it every week. And learning from the coach has been awesome too...I think every week I learn something new from her and I love it cause it helps me improve...expecially when someone seems interested in you succeeding like she does.

So in the last bit of my post I would like to encourage you all again to find some sort of sport you love or didnt know you loved and go do it. Honestly the reward is worth all the hard work and the smell of victory is just too good.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

My new passion....running

Its funny I have always been a runner...I used to run from everything...commitments, responsiblity and even myself. But I am talking about the physical act of running. I have been in this club now for four weeks...and honestly I love it. Its hard and its challenging...but I love that I am getting better...and that I am doing it. The coach is amazing...and I have quit yet which is also amazing...and I dont plan on quitting. The coach pushes and encourages...I know without her I wouldnt have been able to do tonight. I would have quit the workout. Also what I like is I have something to do and go to thats my own. Well there are others out there...but I mean no one is there from my circle only me and I love it...I feel like I have something to call my own...and people I get to see every week that are out of my circle and they are soooo funny and they are great to be around. I love that even the seasoned runners encourage you to keep going...they are so great. Honestly I cant brag about them enough. I am hoping to be able to run some races in the fall. The coach thinks I can but she has a bit more faith in me then I do. Running is great excercise for those of you who dont do it you should try...its really fun and you dont really need to be amazing just do it. I am sitting here now drinking a beer to reward myself for even going to the track in a plus 43 day wow it was hot today. Its not the heat that really gets me its the humidity...that sucks. That part makes me angry...I even yelled at it on the track then wanted to cry....haha sometimes my emotions are up and down when I run but always after I am in the greatest mood and just love life endorphines are great. Well that is all for me tonight my brain is tired...I will post more of this experiance up another time...but untill next time I really encourage you to do something active it doesnt have to be running it can just be walking but get out feel really great about yourself when do it.