Sunday, September 30, 2007

Cry out

Cry out for the lost...the broken...and the searching...cry out for them so that they can see...see Your love...real love...true love...and see who they are.

So many people in this world dont understand that God is truly real...that He really is for them and not against them...some people dont understand that they to can have Him in their lives...that a relationship with God is never ending...and He will never stop loving them even they fall away.

I have fallin away so many times and every time God is like come back to me...I am the only one that is goin to satisfy you...I am the only one that you will feel happy with...I am the only one you can truly trust and no one can love you like I can...and this is totally true...God is the one we need and the one that is goin to satisfy us...we need to stop lookin for other things to fullfill us...we all try relationships and drugs or alcohol and other things and its never goin to fill us.

God picks me up and sets on me on the right track and shows me where I need to be and dusts me off.

I dont know where all this is comin from but I felt that I needed to write it all done...we need to cry out for the lost and broken...we need to cry out so that they can see God..the real God...the Father God...the one who loves is and is searching for them...He wants us to pursue Him so we need to...we need to reach out and touch Him and really dig deep into who He is...this is my cry for you.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

If they knew...

I sit in around a crowded fire pit listening to all the laughter and watchin all the smiles. Feeling very loved and touched that they all showed up. Thinkin I have great friends they all came because of me...because I was born on this day. Makes my heart happy. As I am sitting there thinkin about this...if they only thoughts. If they only knew that inside I felt alone...if they only knew I am lost...and invisable...if they only knew. I laugh and smile so they think I am happy...this is my favorite day of the entire world...and I didnt have the time of my life...I ate cake and that made me happy....I had great hugs from great friends and that made me happy...but still lost and confused and invisable...why do I feel this way...Daddy help me...come to me and be with me and make me feel whole again...if they only knew the dangerous thoughts...the bad thoughts...and the lonliness I feel...if they only knew...would they even care?

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Dont look back

For real dont do it...ok so I read this most amazing story in the bible the other day that I have never heard was in Genesis and it was the story of when Lot was fleeing his city and God said dont look back but his wife did and she turned into a pillar of salt...well I got huge revelation out of this and it was like a really sweet story...she turned into salt people...ok I wasnt brought up in the church so I never had heard this story before and I loved here it is.

God said dont look back...and she He turned her into somethin that wasnt a very big deal in those days...cause salt was everywhere you could get it anywhere...and she was salt so who cares about that pillar of salt who cares...see what I am trying to get at is who cares what your past is...who cares what you did wrong...who cares...all that matters now is who you are now...who you are goin to become...dont look back...dont turn your head even to the side and peep out of the corner of your eye...drop what you are trying to hold onto and keep goin forward.

There is no point in holding onto those things cause they are just goin to weigh you down...they are goin to pull you backwards or worse...keep you standing still and that my friends is need to just go...and do be turned into a pillar of salt because you made the mistake in lookin back.

Keep your eyes on God and He will direct you where to Him.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

I think I have gone insane

Ok so here it is folks I am now listenin to country music...I offically have become insane...I hate the stuff but some of it I have grown to like its so weird cause I would be the first to boycott it...I would be the first one to say are you seroius we are not listenin to this...Jello I dunno if you did this to me...but I am enjoying a bit of country lately...maybe I am depressed...Nikki Out!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Kills me inside

Watching you dream and supporting them like I should...hearing you cry out and listening to every kills me inside to know...that I am not in your see you chase one who doesnt even know you exist...kills me I sit here the pain goes I need to I need to live up to your I need to prove...prove I can make you happy...I am me and thats who I am...accept it...I am not changing anytime will go on...and I will survive without you...but it would be nice to have you in my would be nice to tell you...I care about tell you...I believe in tell you...I love have the life we both dreamed of...its hard to keep silent...its hard to hear you talk about ones who dont even know you exist...its hard to sit here and wait...but I am strong...I will go on...and I will pray untill the day you see me...for me.