Different and Weird

Well this is my inside the mind of Nikki blog page right? And I normally do share what I am thinkin and stuff...but what I feel I cant explain...where I am at I dont know how to describe really...ok here I will try to tell you were I am at....my life this week is goin great mainly cause I am lettin those negative things people have to say to me slide right off...but in a cocky way....I have a cocky attitude that I have gained a very bad one....I actually think I am better then people and I dunno where it came from...I stand tall yes but not in a positive way...I stand tall so the people around me can see that I am better then them...ok now before you start saying things to me...I know this is not a good attitude to have...I know I am in the wrong this time...but its weird cause I dont care and not in a normal I dont care apathetic attitude its a different I dont care I cant explain it...so yeah I cant really explain where I am at cause its a weird place that I have never been before...one thing I do know is my health isnt doin so good...I believe since I am at the top of my game listenin to God and praying hard again that the enemy is attacking me in my health cause I am sick and I am usin drugs and praying and its not goin away...and things are gettin worse...I also know that from this point on I am empty and God is the only one workin now...I cant do nothin else I am empty...I am not givin up either I am way past that...and I am movin forward...and I do have new vision but I just am tired really...and this weekend isnt helpin it cause its been jam packed for me without any of my say in it...so yeah life is interesting...my life is interesting...and I cant explain to you how I feel...I cant explain to you where I am at...its just different and weird.