The only thing I can think about lately is running. When I am in a bad mood I wanna run because it helps. When I am in a good mood I wanna run cause its fun. Even when I am in a lazy mood I think of somethin maybe not running but something that invloves working out. I have been going to the gym a lot lately and just really working on being the best runner I can be. I want to take the 2011 racing season by storm. I did really well this year in my first 6months of running which I still cant believe I have held on this long its amazing.

You learn a lot of things about yourself when you pick up something like this. You learn what you are willing to go through to succeed. I was still running for months with a pain in my side. After tests its still undetermined what it is. But in the last couple of weeks it also hasnt been there so I dunno. Also I am not one of the fastest runners in my club heck I might even be the slowest but I still work hard. I want to be a faster runner thats my goal. I want to be able to do 5kms super fast. I will also be doing my first half marathon in the fall of next year which is cool.

The most interesting part is the battle that goes on in the mind when racing. Your body is telling you to stop and sometimes your head is almost convinced...but there is this other voice telling me to keep going. One time during track one of the women told me just to keep going and never stop and so I always think of that and I dont stop....even if I have to run slower I am still running. If your brain tells your body it can keep going it can.

We just had our end of the year party for our club and it was awesome. It really is like a family our little running family. Everyone is so great and fun to chill with. I just let myself go and had fun with all of them which I am still learning to be myself with them. I have been a quiet one and anyone who knows the real Nikki knows thats not the case. I am not quiet be no means. But I am letting that Nikki out bit by bit there. I am super comfortable with a bunch of them and am meeting more and more runners in the club that are just a blast to chill with.

Now that I am 6months into this running adventure it has no longer become something I think I will do for awhile but it has become a lifelong adventure to me. I know it...I love it. Which will be like the first thing I never started and quit. This is my new lifestyle and I am a runner.

Going into 2011 I have many goals for my running and other things but I will write an end of the year blog in a week. I just decided to write a new blog cause I havent kept it up in the last couple of months but said I would. That is one of my goals for 2011 is to keep this up so you all know what is going on in my life and thoughts...near or far. Hope everyone has a great Christmas and dont forget why we actually celebrate this day.

Adventures in running

You have your shorts and t-shirt. You grab your shoes...ahh the laces so familier you tie them they way you always do. Grab your ipod with your favorite tunes...then you step out the door. That first step to the pavement is a step towards victory. As you head down the street the wind in your face and its you against you. You keep going and start to feel the pains in your legs telling you to stop but you keep going. All of a sudden you become aware of every muscle and every breath. Focusing on the music and your thoughts you push through...telling yourself this is my day and I got this. Finally you are rounding your last corner and you see your house and you are back for a nice shower and a snack...and you are proud that you went out at all.

Running has been an adventure for me...one I never thought I would take on. It has become more then something I do but something I have become. I live my life around it...everything I do I ask the question how will this effect my running. My eating habits, my sleeping habits and just my daily life I have become a runner. I am a runner. I feel weird sayng that because I feel like it takes years of training and some medals under your belt before you can be called that. But its not true...I have been running for about 4months now...and I am a runner. I think I have improved since my first awkward day on the track in the rain with people I didnt know. Now I look forward to running and I get upset...very upset when I cant. I love just randomly running in my neighborhood and getting lost and finding my way home its so fun and a great way to get to know the city better.

I have always started things and quit them but this is something I dont want to quit. I have thought of quitting many times...but I dont want to. Its hard but the reward is so much more. Everytime I go out there and run I doubt at first I am not gonna make it I say and then I surprise myself and actually do it. Even tho I have only done a couple of races they are awesome. Super hard but awesome...near the last km I always think if quitting or in the first km I think why the heck am I doin this maybe I should just walk. But then I get to the finish line and its all over and I just had victory. All I have to say is I got this. Its really a mind thing you would be surprised what you can convince your body of doing.

Running has become tougher for me recently as I have a weird pain in my side and now in my chest. The doctor doesnt know what it is. But I am not letting it stop me...I do listen to my body and slow down when it gets worse and somedays I cant even go out. Those are the worst...not running is hard...I cant not run. But I continue and push on and I know it will get resolved.

Theres nothing like ending a hard stressful day with an amazing night run. You come home relaxed and ready to sleep and take on the next day cause the faster you get to sleep the closer you get to running again. Once you start you cant stop its addicting...its who you are. And its become who I am. This is me a runner. Never thought I would say that...never knew I liked running.

I am surrounded by great people who cheer you on and dont look down on you for being slow and I really appreciate that. I love the people I run with cause I can learn from them and feel great about myself as well. Also its great to have a group of people cause I think its important to have this encouragment so you dont quit. I know for me if I didnt have the people and the coach around I wouldnt be where I am today with running and I prob wouldnt be doing it anymore. My favorite day is wednesday when I get to run with these encouraging people. I look forward to it every week. And learning from the coach has been awesome too...I think every week I learn something new from her and I love it cause it helps me improve...expecially when someone seems interested in you succeeding like she does.

So in the last bit of my post I would like to encourage you all again to find some sort of sport you love or didnt know you loved and go do it. Honestly the reward is worth all the hard work and the smell of victory is just too good.

My new passion....running

Its funny I have always been a runner...I used to run from everything...commitments, responsiblity and even myself. But I am talking about the physical act of running. I have been in this club now for four weeks...and honestly I love it. Its hard and its challenging...but I love that I am getting better...and that I am doing it. The coach is amazing...and I have quit yet which is also amazing...and I dont plan on quitting. The coach pushes and encourages...I know without her I wouldnt have been able to do tonight. I would have quit the workout. Also what I like is I have something to do and go to thats my own. Well there are others out there...but I mean no one is there from my circle only me and I love it...I feel like I have something to call my own...and people I get to see every week that are out of my circle and they are soooo funny and they are great to be around. I love that even the seasoned runners encourage you to keep going...they are so great. Honestly I cant brag about them enough. I am hoping to be able to run some races in the fall. The coach thinks I can but she has a bit more faith in me then I do. Running is great excercise for those of you who dont do it you should try...its really fun and you dont really need to be amazing just do it. I am sitting here now drinking a beer to reward myself for even going to the track in a plus 43 day wow it was hot today. Its not the heat that really gets me its the humidity...that sucks. That part makes me angry...I even yelled at it on the track then wanted to cry....haha sometimes my emotions are up and down when I run but always after I am in the greatest mood and just love life endorphines are great. Well that is all for me tonight my brain is tired...I will post more of this experiance up another time...but untill next time I really encourage you to do something active it doesnt have to be running it can just be walking but get out there...you feel really great about yourself when do it.

They will catch it...this I know

Who would have known this is where I would be in 2010. Sitting on my balcony in Montreal listening to the hum of the highway. Well Daddy I guess you knew. Who would have known that I would be this person today someone that is completely unrecognizable to the past. Who was I then? Oh it doesn't matter, its who I am today that matters. Who am I you ask? A nanny, a student, a runner, a friend. No none of those things, I am a child of the Most High, loved like no else and cherished more then I know. Montreal a passionate city, but broken. I don't know sometimes why you brought me here. Then I look into a women's eyes, where I see loss and emptiness and I remember. The love you want to pour out on these people, your heart grieves for your lost children, you are calling them home. Daddy what do I have to offer in all this? Ahh I get it, I see and feel you, sharing you is all I can do and that's what you want. Open their eyes Daddy, soften their hearts. My heart is broken for them. Your love is beautiful and amazing never in this world would I have imagined this life. And its only going to get better from here. If my dreams are not yours please take them away as I only want what you want. Can you hear that? The laughter, the dancing oh I can its the people when this city catches it. Look at the smiles and the pure joy, when this city catches it, no one will be able to stop them as they are a passionate people. Show me more. The are like children playing and dancing in the streets haha such a beautiful sight. Sharing what they have so no one goes without. I see it this is your city, these are your children and the will catch it. Do you see the beauty, of course you do, your God. Show me your heart Daddy. Oh that hurts, look at the women weeping, the child hurting, the lonely man and the blind. Embrace them don't let go, meet them don't lose sight. Sickness, disease, famine and strife have no place in my city. I can see it now the bigger picture, your tower is big enough for them all. They will see that this righteousness is attainable and they will see that they also can be loved. This I know.

New Adventures = New Perspective

Ok I know I have said this before but this time its for real I am gonna start blogging again. I always think nothing new happens in my life why should I blog all the time and what not but new things are always happening. If different things didnt happen every day we wouldnt grow.

So the biggest new thing tho is I joined a running club. I have been running with a friend and on my own at times and realized I really like it. Also I am not that bad at it. So I wanted to become a runner and get better and go farther with it. So I joined this group and we have a coach and everything and its intense. I enjoy every minute of it even when I am in pain. I love being pushed sometimes its annoying in the moment but at the end I am like that was good...I am glad the coach pushed me...even tho I normally feel like I am goin to die. I always try new things and then quit and then try somethin else and then quit. But this is something I found I like and am ok at and I dont want to quit this. Its in the keeping going where we find perseverance and determintation. Also running gives you a high...a natural high. I love it so much I love the feeling of getting a new personal record and I love the feeling of all my muscles screaming at me to stop and I keep pushing. I just love it. I have been sleeping much better and more happy since I started running...and when I run on my own there is more time for me to talk to God and just get closer to Him.

I am not sure if this is a natural talent I have always had or even have but I do love running and honestly cant wait for my first race. I biked 50km in the freezing rain on a thing called Tour de L'ile I can certanitly do anything now I believe. So my advice to you all is...if you have something you want to do and just thought you never could or your too old or whatever it is...just do it...just try because its ok to fall...as long as you get back up again...and to try is not to fail but its not trying thats failing...so just go for it. I cant wait to see what God does in all your lives. I will update you more on my adventure I am inspired by something bigger then me and need to share it with the world.

My heart weeps

The lost and confused, the broken and abused, the lonely and rejected, the rich and the poor, they all need the One...and my heart cries out for them. Since I have moved to Montreal I have said that I have fallen in love with this city and really feel at home here...well thats true. But just recently I realized its not the city I have fallen in love with...its the people. The streets are filled with the most precious commodity...thats people. They live on the streets, they live in crappy houses, and some live in nice houses. This city is filled with diversity and culture...not just in the museums but in peoples homes. There are latin, lebanese, chinese, english, italian and french neighborhoods...yes there is fights and disagrements. But this city is amazing...all the world sees are statistics and poverty. I see love and hope. A hope that people thought is lost...but as I smile at the faces in the streets and notice them...not looking past them I pray they see this hope. Montreal is an amazing place...a place where you cant just come and not be changed. This place changes you takes you out of your comfort zone and provokes a holy anger. One where you know you just cant stand and watch the injustice around you. One where you are wanting to take action...prayer is great. I pray everyday for these people but its time for me to take action...its time for me to stand up for those that have been rejected byt the world. And I will I can tell you all that is on my heart tonight cause I dont even understand it all...but I will continue to keep you updated on this journey and the new dreams God has place in my heart and where I will be heading in the near future as my job is coming to an end in august I will have to find direction but I have a feeling I know where I am heading...prayers are apreciated and if you need a prayer or two drop me a line untill then...be the change you want to see in this world yes I used that qoute but its true.

You are my song

Well I know I havent updated my blog in a long time but here is something I wrote during worship the other day I wanted to share with you all...and maybe I will write some more on here again.

You are my rock song nothing gets me as high as you
You are my love song nothing pierces my heart like you
You are my pop song nothing gets me moving like you
You are my country song nothing gets me to say yeehaw like you
You are my classical song nothing soothes me like you
You are my lullaby nothing gives me peace like you
You are my childrens song nothing gives me faith like you
Ultimetly you are my worship song...worthy of all my worship
You are the words and the music, everything that makes the song is you
You are the song
You are my song


Just hope everyone is doing great...I am doing awesome here in Montreal...its been a great transition and its almost been two years...everyday exciting things happen and I am just stoked to see what God has for me next.