Well I havent blogged for a few days...but I dont actually know what to blog about...other then I lost...I lost again...I lost the person I once knew...I lost the Nikki that you all love...and the worst part is....I am happy...she is gone...she cant tell me what to do anymore...its my time...I am the apathetic Nikki now...she doesnt care what she does...the world is hers...the night life is where she wants to be...when you are apathetic problems dont seem to be as big...cause you just shrug them off...lots of you are goin to be like what the hell you have these big dreams...you were happy, you were ready to take on the world...yeah well this is the side of me some of you know and hate this is the side of me some of you havent seen yet....there is a song I like by Simple Plan that explains me so much...
"Welcome To My Life"
Do you ever feel like breaking down?Do you ever feel out of place?Like somehow you just don't belongAnd no one understands youDo you ever wanna run away?Do you lock yourself in your room?With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screamingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels all rightYou don't know what it's likeTo be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeDo you wanna be somebody else?Are you sick of feeling so left out?Are you desperate to find something more?Before your life is overAre you stuck inside a world you hate?Are you sick of everyone around?With their big fake smiles and stupid liesWhile deep inside you're bleedingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels all rightYou don't know what it's likeTo be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeNo one ever lied straight to your faceAnd no one ever stabbed you in the backYou might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okayEverybody always gave you what you wantedYou never had to work it was always thereYou don't know what it's like, what it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)To be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeWelcome to my lifeWelcome to my life
this is my life right now...some of you wont understand...some of you wont want to hang out with me...some of you will be upset or feel hurt...and some of you wont care...a tip the worst thing to do is leave me alone no matter how much I try to push you away...but anyways friends...I cannot be perfect and I cant do everything right so stop pushing me...just let me be me
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