Thank You

I just wanted to write a blog quick saying people actually care and love me. I was reading my comments today and sitting here thinking about it and its true you guys care. Hmmm I think I just got true revelation on it just now...and for those of you who know me thats breakthrough. Ohhh man Dawn I am sweating through my eyeballs again. LOL Well I just wanted to leave that note...Thank You everyone and I love you too.

Interesting Times

My last couple of weeks have been pretty interesting. I told a friend that last week was the most powerful crappy week ever. Ha ha ha yeah I know that may not make sense to some of you but it does to me. I had an extremly busy and tireing week but then the weekend came. And I got to see Dawn and hang out with her all weekend. God did soooo much this weekend it was amazing. I had a breakthrough and I learned a lot of things. I got closer to an amazing friend coughdawncough lol. I know that God has this amazing plan for my life...the thing I dont like is that I dont know how its all going to play out. I wish just sometimes God would let us in on His plan. I know some of the plan but I dont know how to get there. I know that we are just supposed to put our trust in God but where I am at right now its harder to do then say. I am at a spot in my life where I cant see the hope, I cant see anything I dont know how to get out of this. I am stuck and I need help. I wrote a poem I am going to share:

Too heavy to walk I have fallen
My legs are not strong enough to hold me
They shake and quiver as I try to stand
So I drag myself across the ground
I want to keep going because quitting is not an option
My vision is starting to get blurry
I cant see the finish line anymore
I cant see anyone around me anymore
I am weak and tired
I need someone to help me
My soul cries out
My soul screams out
My body aches
There is so much weight on my shoulders
It feels like someone is holding me down
Where are you?
You said you would never leave
How come I cant feel you?
Cant move anymore
Come and rescue me

Nicole Andrews 22

There is sooo much that I need to get through right now and I believe that this weekend was a stepping stone to my future. Quitting is not an option.

Road Trip

Well I am back from my road trip to Edmonton. Yeah it was fun I am not a big fan of lobg care rides tho. The best part was getting to see my friends. I got to stay at Dawn's house and that was fun. We went to some new restraunts that I havent been to. I actually want to move to Sherwood Park now I really liked it. The church I went to was kick butt...they are simliar to my church here in the Hat. Ohhh and you will never guess what I let Dawn do...he he I let her put make-up on me...yes I wore make-up. It was kinda cool and didnt look bad at all. It was a struggle the first time she put it on me ha ha she sat on me and did it. Yeah I got see the Chadwicks and they are a cool family that I love in Edmonton and we hung out with Ed too. Connie hung out with us for the one night. I really like it up there. Everytime I go up there I find a different reason for moving up there....its always something that has been on my mind. It has been on my mind for the last year. Hmm I dunno...but anyways I am really tired so I think I may go to bed soon. Have a great week all.

My amazing night!

Ok well now that my mind isnt going as crazy as it was last night I can share with you all about my amazing night. Ok so last night I went to my faithworks class...for those of you who dont know what faithworks is...its a bible college class from Hillsongs Church in Australia and its an evening class that is taught at my church. So anyways I went to it last night and I havent actually been to it all term cause my other college classes conflict with me going. But I decided to skip my college class last night and I ended up at faithworks. So anyways it totally was God that I was there. At the beggining we prayed for about 45 minutes and we normally pray at the beggining but not that long it was sooooo amazing and I got filled up and I got some amazing words. Here is what was said over me: One of the girls said that I am going to have a daycare centre that is going to stand out, it is going to show others how its done. She also said she got two words they were ester and rescue...she said just like ester rescued her people I am going to rescue children. One of the other girls prayed and said that she saw a picture she saw a white tea cup with a blue trim and it was so detailed and uniqe. She said it was God's favorite tea cup and He liked to fill it with hot chocolate with whip cream on top and chocolate chavings and sprinkles...she said the He loved how sweet the hot chocolate was. Then she said He craves it...He looks for this cup all the time. The goes on to tell me that I am the tea cup...when God needs that sweetness He looks for me and He craves to be around me. He loves me and looks for me. Ohhh and they said that the colorful sprinkles on top describes my personality that I am colorful and fun. Then one of the other girls prays for me and says that I am called to be a leader of leaders. She said that I am going to be a mother of MANY children. Children who dont have mothers of fathers I will be there for them. She said dont give up and dont isolate myself because thats what the enemy wants. He knows that I am going to affect many children and he doesnt want that so he is going to try and keep me away. She also said dont doubt and do go other ways no matter how tempting it is stick on this path cause I am on the right path. Even when I keep going around the mountian over and over again God has always been there and He has never left or got frustrated with me. She also prayed for the desires of my heart to quicken to come faster. Yeah so that is what was spoken over me and I was so empowered and filled when I left last night it was amazing. For those of you who dont know the whole month of January I pretty much isolated myself and kept going around the same spot in the mountian and I had doubts if I was supposed to do this job. I wanted to change careers already. But this night of prayer pretty much told me I am on the right path. Also I have dreams for this amazing daycare that is going to change the way people think about children and how daycares are supposed to be run. I said someday when someone is taking the program I am in they are going to be reading my name in a text book. I knew that God told me this is the year. I also know that this is my year of intimacy with the Father and I just stepped into the beggining of that I just stepped into it and I am soooo happy. I am ready to take on whatever right now. All I have wanted to do this week is worship the Father and I have cause He is soooo amazing and I love Him. Well there is sooo much more I could say but this is turning out to be a huge blog so I am gonna go. Ohhh and guess what I found out today...my class last night that I thought I skipped was actually cancelled. The girls today told me that the instructor had left a note on the board saying class was cancelled. That confirms to me that I was supposed to be at faithworks last night.

Thoughts

God is amazing He doesn’t say you have to worship me, He doesn’t make you listen. He sits there and waits for you to come to Him how amazing is that. Some people perceive God as this person who makes us worship Him…that’s not how He is at all. Some people think that He is all rules and no fun…but that’s not how He is at all. Yes He has rules for you but they are put into place for your own good (I know that sounds weird from me cause I hate rules). Well you see it’s almost 3am and I am up cause I can’t sleep and I was thinking about God. I was thinking about how amazing He is and how much we mean to Him. If God had a wallet every single one of our pictures would be in it now that’s a big stinkin wallet. Sometimes I think of the people in my life who don’t know God and I think of how sad it is. But then I wonder well how are they ever gonna see God if I am not showing them who He is? So the question is when you are around the people in your life that don’t know our amazing and wonderful Father are you showing Him to them? I am not talking about telling them about Him, I am talking about are caring for them? Are you loving them? Are you just sitting there listening to them when they need a friend? Are you helping people and giving the glory to God? Or are you taking all the credit? We may be the only Jesus that some people see. So we need to act like Him and do what He would do. I have some friends who did know God and lived for Him. But now they are doing their own thing. And this is what I see. God has this huge house and we all have a room in it. He goes around every night to see if we are all in our rooms and tucks us in. But when He gets to a room that has no one in it He leaves the door open and He leaves the porch light on so they can find their way home. And to me that’s so amazing He never closes the door. He is always waiting there with arms open wide. You hold the key to God's house just use it. I once wrote a poem about His arms open wide maybe someday I will share it with you all. But for now I am leaving you with those thoughts. I should maybe go get some sleep. Goodnight and go be a miracle!

Yeah

Well I am bored so I decided to write another blog. My week has been super busy and I was really tired friday night but it has been a good week. I am half finish one of my big projects for school. And I am excited about that. This weekend so far is going good. The crew hung out last night at my house and we talked to dawn on the internet and that was fun. I am excited cause next weekend I will be in edmonton and its getting closer. Its going to be like a mini holiday for me and I need a holiday. I graduate from college in a couple of months and thats cool. But I think I am going to take another program next year. I am thinking of taking the speech language patholigist assistant program. It is a pretty cool program and I really want to take it, I can take it through dristrubted learning so thats cool. Cause then I can work while I am in the program. For my practicum this semester I get to go to a preschool and I already know the lady that I am doing it with so I think it will be fun. Ummm yeah three more weeks till my mom moves to spruce grove...I am excited for her cause I heard its really nice up there. Ha ha ha I phoned my mom today and my brother answered (who is only six) and my mom wasnt home so he was supposed to give the phone to his dad but instead he said that he would take a message and then he hing up on me. He hangs up on my all the time its kinda cute but sometimes annoying. Ohhh I spoke at c&c the other night....I only spoke for ten minutes but that was one purpose I wanted to get the miracles thing into people's spirits and then I wanted to have a discussion about it and thats what happened I think it was pretty cool. Even tho it was short. Well thats an update on my life I will write when something more interesting comes up.

Best Weekend Ever!

Oh my goodness this has been the best weekend ever. I have had a bad week and God knew exactly what I needed a fun filled weekend with friends. Lets see Friday night my friend Niki came into town and hung out and we all went to the park and wrestled and just had fun like little kids agian it was the best thing ever. Then saturday we went to the irvine hockey rink and played hockey and then that night we went to my friend Melissa's house (who surprised me by coming home for the weekend) which was so exciting then on sunday we went to church and out for lunch. Then we watched the super bowl at the DC it was so fun. This weekend was awesome cause it was like I was a kid again with no care in the world. Life was put on hold and I was able to have fun for once. There has been a lot of stuff going on in my life and to have a break from reality in a good way was soooooo awesome. God knew exactly what I needed. I am really sore today cause we did a lot of physical activity this weekend and I have had lack if sleep but it doesnt matter cause I had a fun weekend. And the best part was I was myself and I had fun. Well there is a lesson to be learned its ok to be me....I am allright.

Uhhhhh....

I must be a bad roommate or something. Every one I live with I cant live with...well except one I had one great roommate. But I think that I need to move again. The fighting the yelling the swearing the drinking I hate and I cant handle it. I have even started swearing again...I swear all the time again and it sucks I stopped that now I am doing it again uhhh I hate it. I thought that I could live here but the yelling is what gets me the most. That is what happens at my moms house and I hate it I really do...I dont like when people fight. I feel pain and anger when it happens and I cant be around it...its bullshit and I am tired of hearing it. I am going to ask God what to do but the best would to live on my own all by myself...or at least with someone who can help me...who I trust and who is going to be a good influence. Someone that I can pray with whenever I need to. I am just frustrated and tired.