Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Hangin by a string
Well I did go to work today but I left early telling them I was sick...which I do feel ill but I think what I feel more of is sadness and pain for a friend. I just feel like the last few weeks I have been hangin by a string...slipping everyday. Now I know some of you who read this are goin to think there she goes again and why cant she just get up and stay up...well I think that all the time about myself. This time is different...I am not giving up on Christianity or God. I just am not trying as hard anymore...I am completly empty and I cant run anymore. I am tired and I feel like I cant handle anything thrown at me anymore. Life is so weird. There are times when I feel so happy and times where I just want to hide and never come out. Today my heart feels sad and broken and I just need to be alone for a awhile. I do this often where I shut the world out of my life but you know what sometimes I come out better and sometimes its worse...I never know untill I actually do it. Some people will try to convince me that its bad but whatever. I am hangin by a string and its getting harder to hold on but I am goin to try to never let go untill my feet are on solid ground and I no longer have to hold on to a string. So for now if you are praying for me it would be best to pray for strength and just for God to be there with me to hold me and guide me. Thank you all of you for being there.
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4 comments:
Hey Nikki, I know how you feel sometimes, Life is hard shesh like why does everything bad have to happen all at once ya know. But thats life right, and we have to work at finding ways to keep our feet on the soild ground, which means keeping our spirit full of God. This is something I am having to work hard at here back from, away from IBC and all that spiritual feast I was getting. How is your prayer life and your Personal Devotions going???? Keep on giong girl, you can pull through this!
love ya
Regardless of our disputes, Nikki, I prayed for you this morning and I will continue to. Dawn had some good verses, 2 of which I've seen and you will have to, but it's a friendly reminder. God's going to come through - you were the one who told me he's going to do something big because all this stuff that's going on. Faith and hope will carry you through.
1 Peter 1:6,7
Romans 5:3-5
James 1: 2-4
Sometimes we need that alone time. If you spend it truly alone and don't include God, but if you include God I think it's healthy. So include him. I know I disapoint and frustrate you among other things I'm sure, but I'm glad God never does - He'll come through for you, he promises!
John 14:18
my dear, you know i'm here. but just don't be alone too long. i almost didn't last the weekend with you gone! and guard that movie with your life!!
Alone can be good. I know that. Take some time, eat some greasy wendy's :)
It's all good. I don't think any of your friends are going to go away if you need to disapeer for a while
Peace (Any by peace I mean the shalom, fullness and completness of our heavnly father)
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