Another poem by Nikki

I remember the times we spent together
All I want to do is reach out and touch you
To see your face and hear your laugh
To share your laughter and feel your pain
I remember the times we spent together
We may not have the same area code
We may not be able to see each other everyday
But the time will come when our paths meet again
The time will come when I can reach out and touch you
To hug you and laugh with you
We will share more memories together
Tell more stories, more jokes and more of life
I remember the times we spent together
We will share tears and be there for each other
As time goes on our paths go different places
But God will always bring them together
Weaving in and out like a snake through the grass
Our lives will meet again
Just like a lost dog always finds his way home
We will see each others faces
As the night turns dark and the day turns light
And just like the seasons change so do our lives
But I will always remember the times we spent together

Nicole Andrews
23

Distance

So you know what I am startin to hate...is distance...all my closest friends are so far away...all the people I want to see I cant cause they dont live in my city...distance is lame and I am really actually kind of tired of it...sometimes I just really start missing people so much...and all I want is to hang out with them...well I pray God brings us together sometime...and untill then I will have sweet memories...and internet chats...and well sometimes the phone.

Snowboarding is not my friend

Ok so today was a great day...I got up...it is snowing great here I love snow so much...then I go to the ski hill with some friends...for my first time ever...beautiful out there and I have an awesome snowboarding outfit...so I go get a lift ticket then I go rent a snowboard and boots...and what I have to wear a helmut...ok so I put the helmut and it was a good thing cause what I am about to tell you next was not part of my good day...so we try goin up the hill on this Tbar thing ha ha yeah right I couldnt even get up the hill on it...so we took the chair lift ahhh much easier...just dont look down I am scared of heights and that was high up...ok so we get to the top of the hill ohh guess what Nikki does jumps of the chair and just about falls down a cliff yep didnt read the sign ha ha ok so I finally get to where we are about to go down the hill and get my other foot in the bindings ok I am ready...or not...I fall right away...ate some snow...meanwhile my friends are trying to show me how to do it...well I am just not getting it then when I do I am going so fast I get scared and make myself fall...so lets see it took me two hours to get down the hill on my first bloody run...did I go down again you ask...yes I did...I prayed that God would make my board go slower yeah that didnt work out so well ha ha...so this time I got really frustrated and started crying on the hill actual tears were coming out but I was like nope I gotta do this...I dont like to fail...failure is not an option...about 3/4 of the way down I undid the bindings and walked the rest...my day consisted of me falling and bouncing my head off the ground...good thing for that helmut they made me wear...my knees hurt...my legs hurt...my shoulders hurt...wait I hurt all over...I am not sure snowboarding likes me...all these little kids around me goin down the hill like its a piece of cake...mmm cake I should have some...anyways just so you all know snowboarding is not a sport I am goin to take up in the near future...or ever again...I dunno it just wasnt fun I spent most of my time on my butt...in the snow...while others passed and laughed at me...all you snowboarders out there great job...I just dont know how you do it.

Memories

Memories of a brother/friend....this is me and my friend Travis...he was a roommate of mine but most importantly a brother...we had some great times...so many laughs...he made me laugh all the time with things that he said...he used to make the weirdest meals and make me try them and I would say they were good just to make him happy...and sometimes they were actaully good...I told him he should be a cook...go to school for it...he wasnt sure...well my friend Trav got into a car accident in August and became paralized...and this week he had problems...and well he passed away...and I will always remember the fun we had...please pray for family and friends...cause I know I took it hard so I can only imagine what his family is feeling...Travis I truly did love you...and still do...dont forget to make Jesus laugh like you did us.

Totally my song...thanks Amanda

"Stand In The Rain" by Superchick

She never slows down.

She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down

She won't turn around

The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

[CHORUS]So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound

Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down

She wants to be found

The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.[CHORUS]

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

Stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

[CHORUS]

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain

Break

So it has come to my attention that most of you dont like reading my blog because it depresses you...well I am goin to take a break in writing for a bit...I need to figure life out and maybe write somethin uplifting...so keep checking my blog for an update...there will soon be one. And if you would keep me in your prayers that would be great.

When...

When am I goin to stop getting disapointed...ohh right when I stop looking forward to things in life....and people are human so they always are goin to disapoint you...they arent perfect...why do I expect it out of them...why do I always see the trust...I dont know...its not like me...stay far away then they cant hurt you...stay at a distance then they cant see...see the pain in my eyes...see the world falling apart...see that I am done...and the zombie....the zombie that walks this life...the zombie at work and at play....play with my mind some more...play with my heart till its breaks...break is what you would see....inside is the pieces never found...like shattered glass on the ground...ground is what I am crawling on...ground is where I lay so you can walk all over me....me somethin I lost...its playing hide and go seek...where is that girl...girl the one who dreams...the one who changes things...the one who believes...believe in what I see...and right now thats not much...much heartache...much pain...pain is all I feel...feeling is lost now...I have become....a mindless drone

Shoes

Shoes make me happy I just wanted to throw that out there...ha ha look at my new ones

My life may be goin nowhere

Well I havent blogged for a few days...but I dont actually know what to blog about...other then I lost...I lost again...I lost the person I once knew...I lost the Nikki that you all love...and the worst part is....I am happy...she is gone...she cant tell me what to do anymore...its my time...I am the apathetic Nikki now...she doesnt care what she does...the world is hers...the night life is where she wants to be...when you are apathetic problems dont seem to be as big...cause you just shrug them off...lots of you are goin to be like what the hell you have these big dreams...you were happy, you were ready to take on the world...yeah well this is the side of me some of you know and hate this is the side of me some of you havent seen yet....there is a song I like by Simple Plan that explains me so much...

"Welcome To My Life"
Do you ever feel like breaking down?Do you ever feel out of place?Like somehow you just don't belongAnd no one understands youDo you ever wanna run away?Do you lock yourself in your room?With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screamingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels all rightYou don't know what it's likeTo be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeDo you wanna be somebody else?Are you sick of feeling so left out?Are you desperate to find something more?Before your life is overAre you stuck inside a world you hate?Are you sick of everyone around?With their big fake smiles and stupid liesWhile deep inside you're bleedingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels all rightYou don't know what it's likeTo be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeNo one ever lied straight to your faceAnd no one ever stabbed you in the backYou might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okayEverybody always gave you what you wantedYou never had to work it was always thereYou don't know what it's like, what it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)To be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeWelcome to my lifeWelcome to my life

this is my life right now...some of you wont understand...some of you wont want to hang out with me...some of you will be upset or feel hurt...and some of you wont care...a tip the worst thing to do is leave me alone no matter how much I try to push you away...but anyways friends...I cannot be perfect and I cant do everything right so stop pushing me...just let me be me

A new day...a new chapter...a new season

Well its time...the season needs to change...things need to grow and chapters need to be written. This is where my life is right now its a new day, a new chapter and a new season. Well the groundhog did not see his shadow so what does this mean well it means that they "predict" spring is approaching. Well it is almost symbloic of my life actually not almost it is symbolic...the last few weeks I have encoutered the victories and I have stood in the rubble of fallin dreams...but no thats not true...I was bein prepared dreams have not fallin...I am where God wants me to be...I just need to keep doing the right thing...it was spoken over me today that this is the year of firsts...hmm firsts eh...well I actually know that somethin big is goin to happen this year....2007 is my year...and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...and I will...I actually believe that this is a new season for a lot of my friends as well and things are goin to happen for them...this is the time...its time for my generation...to rise up and become the leaders they were born to be...well I had this whole great blog to write and I kinda forgot it all so this is all I am goin to say for now...have a great week.

Escape

I escaped...got out of reality today...but for once in a healthy way. Well I got my book I wanted The Freedom Writers Diary...I am so excited to read this book. And I also had some starbucks and went for lunch with Cody, Amanda, and Cody's dad...yep good day but that was not the escape. All of a sudden we decided to go to Lethbridge so here we are in Amanda's car on our way to Lethbridge...a city I grew to not like...it wasnt Medicine Hat. I used to live there for a bit but didnt like it...didnt like the type of people didnt like the place you know why...cause it wasnt my home...it wasnt Medicine Hat. I love my city but sometimes need a break. I got out today for a few hours and spent most of my time in my favorite place in the world....Chapters...I love that store its so amazing and I find new and interesting things everytime I go. So I finally did somethin right today for the first time...I got out of reality forgot I had a job, a house, a life...but in a healthy way it didnt involve drinkin till there was no reality...it involved laughter, getting lost...but most importantly memories. There were times when we were in the car lookin for somethin and laughing so hard and having fun that I forgot about everything that is goin wrong in my life...and everything I am feeling in this exact moment. I had fun I was me...and they loved me for me...my friends. I dont actually think Cody and Amanda knew how much that meant to me today...and I dont think they will ever know how I felt exactly...but God knew I needed it...God knew I needed to have a break from my life...and all its responsibilties...and this my friends was the greatest day I have had in a long time.

Great Song

Love Me-JJ Heller
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”
Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me‘
Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means
Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…
Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love,
what love really means
He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said
“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew

This song is so amazing and if you have a chance you need to go hear it...this women's voice ix truly amazing and God is on all her music...but this song means so much more to me then anyone could ever know...I just wanted to share the lyrics with you all...and encourage you to check her out...This song shows that when no one else has shown love to one...that God will always show love He is love...people fail and showing it mainly cause we dont even know how...well enjoy and have a great day.