Sunday, April 09, 2006

Random

Well first off I would like to say I hope I didnt loose any readers cause of my last blog. Now what I need to say in this blog...this may be a little random cause their are so many things on my mind. Ok have you ever wondered if we are right and following the right thing. Like their are so many beliefs out there and how do we know we are following the right one. Ok dont get me wrong I know the bible and I have heard God speak to me since day one but for real. Its jsut a xrazy thought and maybe I am thinkin it cause I have been researching other religions and cults lately and I have an addictive personality. But anyways my next thing I would like to say is I agree with the conservitives when it comes to not havin same sex marriges and other things but I dont agree with the abolishing of the child care thing that the liberals want in I agree that they should put more money into child care and it isnt because thats my career its cause children are our future. I love children and they are the ones that are goin to be running this country and we need to invest in them now. Another thing that I want to comment on is about church today I got some real revelation and it was amazin but it was bout lettin go and I am not sure I can do that yet...I know I wrote a blog about that before that I have let go of some things but I think I have grabbed ahold of them again.I just love the control I love the ball being in my court I think its because I have had what I have wanted for many years I grew up an only child and got what I wanted all the time and now I have that metality. Some of you remember when I was a hermit for that little while...well I wanna become that same hermit I have stuff I need to work through and I am havin people issues right now and I cant handle people. Certian people I can but for the most part people frustrate me. So I am gonna have some Nicole time and I know some of you think thats bad and it probably is but whatever I am doin it. Well see you all in awhile the only way you are able to talk to me is goin to be on the net.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Nikki...I'm sure you know this (having taken Faithworks) and it is something I have to remind myself often too - but, feeling like we are "in control" is fake. The only one that really is in complete control is God. The enemy would have us falsely believe we are in control. Our false sense of control lets us think that we can prevent ourselves from being hurt or "screwed over" by anyone. And when it feels like that is slipping away at all, we panic, start (or continue) to build walls around us for protection, and the fight for control gets stronger. It's about trust. Trust that God (who is ALWAYS in control) will always do what is best for us and protect us. The more we learn to trust in Him and relinquish control, the more the walls come down and we can develop healthy relationships with others. Oh and by the way, even though I know all the above...I'm still a work in progress in this area (grin) and stumble through it more often than I'd like to admit.

Jelea said...

wow...random it is...you do know that you are still coming to the gym tonight with Mary and I! I will carry you out of the house if I have too. but, I do know what it feels like just to have some time to yourself. I have a feeling i know some of your people problems, and they will be fixed soon...i don't know what else to say...

Dawn said...

mmm.... i have to admit that sometimes i need a people break! It is ok to have some alone time Nikki.... its just not good to have EXCESSIVE HERMIT time! There is a difference!... for the control, loss of control is scary, look at the different extreme rides there is... but with God its good, it comes down to trust. Do you trust your maker? its a struggle, but the rewards are copious! As far as the doubt your feeling.... sometimes when we can't see, hear or even feel him we fall back on faith, God is pleased with faith (it is said LOTS in the Bible) and rewards faith... keep your chin up darling, muchlov! Be blessed!

JP said...

Hey Nik - I've TOTALLY questioned if I'm following the right thing or not.. then I just look around at people who follow nothing and see how screwed up their lives can be, then I look at other 'religions' and watch them kill people or think they get their own 'planet' to populate after they die... Then I think to myself, if I die and there was no good, I've still lived life with no regret chasing after something (I know is true) but could've been false. And I don't feel like I've missed out on other 'fun' activities at all. If my life can be lived with abundant blessing and I die and God doesn't exist, oh well, I have a great life! (but we all will see, because His words says 'every heart shall bow, every tongue shall confess' and I confess it loooong before so on that day, I don't have to say ,'oh, SH**, I WAS WRONG!' HA! Go ahead and have your time, that's totally cool - we won't leave anywhere in the meantime.