Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Have you ever?
Have you ever felt meh for no reason? Have you ever just not cared for no reason? I have had a pretty incredible week but today I feel meh. I had a cool night at sattilite but yet I feel meh. I dunno how to shake this and I dont know where it is comin from. There is so much in my life that is gettin me down and I feel like if I run away it will be all gone. Maybe to another city or another country. I dunno what to do. You know what I hate...I hate my thoughts...I hate thinking. If I am ever left to sit here and think on my own its dangerous cause my thoughts go and I cant catch up and they places I dont want them to go. I know take your thoughts captive is what people would say. You know what else I am starting to hate the Christian answer. If you have a problem someone will give you the Christian answer how about be real yeah that would be great. My mind is not all here tonight and I am kinda grumpy and I just dont care right now. My mind is where it was at the beggining of the year and some of you know where that was. I hate it but at the same time I love it. I love fear and I love just being meh. I dunno why its just something that I have grown accustomed to. Yeah well I jsut wanted to say what was on my mind night all.
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3 comments:
I think you're totally right about the enemy being scared and not wanting us to succeed.. Good things our God is bigger than him. I know i'm happy because I feel so contained and we all need God to carry us through the very journey he gives us... I definately hear ya though
I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH... God loves you more! (if thats even possible) i find in these times if i retract to a safe place (a fire with good music does it for me) and get completely engulfed and emmersed in His presence then it does my heart good! i bet it wuld do your heart good as well.... i think that you should come out to my cabin sometime... you would like it, its peaceful! Be blessed darling princess!
Hey, I totaly know that feeling and it sucks and the worst thing is its super hard to pull yourself up out of it, you just dont care but at the same time you do and you want to not be meh anymore but it feels like your falling and falling and falling and you wont be able to do anything till you land at the bottom. And yes those horrable "Christian" answers that we have been trained to say. Just give me time to vent on you and say nothing else or just a hug and time spent with me with nothing said. Its a good thing our God will listen to us vent and not say a word or let us rest in His arms.
but all I know Nikki is that we do have to pull ourselves up out of that rut so we dont gete stuck in it.
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