Wednesday, January 03, 2007
No...you take it
Well today is whatever day it is...and I am sick...I hate this feeling of wanting to empty your insides onto whatever surface is in front of you...but what I hate more then the feeling of having to is the act...so I am not goin to let myself puke...nope its stayin in...anyways on a not so disgusting note...I have gained a new attitude that most of you will be shocked by...I dont care anymore about what I want...I am goin to live my life pleasing people and do what they want me to do...some would call this a push over...I call this being nice and makin new friends act....personally I dont care anymore and yes apathy did get the best of me in 2006 doesnt mean I am letting it win this year...this just means what others want they will get cause I am not goin to try and win anymore...I am not goin to fight I am just goin to give in...I am tired most cases I dont get what I want anyways so why try...so friends if you want to play a certian game then fine we will play it...if you want a certian cd on the fine it will be on...if we want two different movies then it will be yours we will see...if I wanted that chair but you wanted it then you can have it...I will sit on the floor...that is my new attitude...have a great day...that is if you want.
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2 comments:
i think there needs to be a healthy balance with that too though nikki. I dunno if i could hang out with someone who constantly did what i wanted. That would just get annoying after a while. I hate making decisions and i like people's opinions. It's almost MORE frustrating to me when people just give in and say "fine, have it." or "fine, lets do it, whatever YOU want." Because it makes me a dictator, and it doesn't balance a healthy relationship. I think its great that you want to please people, but there's only so much people pleasing you can do...saying you want something, or prefer something doesn't mean you're demanding or going against them.
I dunno. i just don't want you to say "i never get what i want anyways, SOOOoo WHY NOT just do what everyone else wants."
thats not cool....
Sounds like you're looking directly at people to watch and listen to, rather, your eyes watching Jesus and hearing what He's saying and what He wants. And all He wants is for you to love Him and put others above yourself. If that means you watch what your friends want, so be it. But if you choose to do that, do it with love and not defeat Nik... It's all just part of your journey and it's blooming!
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