Almost 2007

Well its New Years Eve...I didnt go to church today cause well I feel like I am gettin the flu...so I decided to rest...well am I happy with my 2006? Thats the question I have been thinkin about lately...and you know what I am. This was a great year started out rough and is endin rough but there is only a few more hours left in this year and I am not giving up...words that come to my mind when I think of 2006 are...streatching, challenging, new levels, growing, new friends, ended friendships, amazing, and there are many more words but this year definitly was my year. And I believe that in 2007 there is more blessing to come, more great things...and I want to keep fighting cause if I dont I wall fall and that my friends wont be a good thing...the only thing left I have to hold on to is God and thats the only stable thing in my life.

One thing I learned in 2006 is...that relationships are hard no matter if its friends or what not. You have to do a lot to keep them up and maintain them...and that my friends is hard...some of you I kept close some of you are not as close...but all of you made a mark in my life and I thank you for that...cause everyone around me has helped me to get where I am today...and this is also somethin I learned...dont put people infront of God...cause they will always let you down and He wont ever let you down...so yes my friends I should have gotten that a long time ago but I am one that has to learn things the hard way and get my heart broken too many times...thats why in 2007 God is the first one I am goin to run to...and in 2007 I am goin to give it everything I got and fight harder and be who God created me to be yes there will be times when this wont work but I am not goin to let it get to me...I am a world changer and I know this so its time to change my world...2006 was my year...2007 is my time to rise up...watch out cause you might catch this fire...you will rise up as well....look back on 2006 are you happy with your life? Are you ready to push into all God has for you in the year 2007? Come on friends rise up with me...and lets fight this together.

Traditions

So I was readin all my friends blogs and I have a lot to go through but it seems you all have family traditions...or at least hang out....wanna know what my Christmas was like...we opened presents then every one went back to there corners while mom and grandma cooked supper...then we came out for supper ate it and left....thats what we do...we dont play games or even talk to each other...the words that come out are...yelling and people fighting cause someone did somethin stupid and shouldnt have done it...or cause someone left something somewhere where it shouldnt have been...or because someone is just that lazy and no one wants to help anyone so there is goin to be no supper....or someone is doing somethin they arent supposed to and its wreckin the dinner...ok so that is how my Christmas is...sorry for ranting but its my blog and I can do what I want...and I felt like sharing my tradition...yell untill the other person feels like shit and doesnt want to be there anymore...Happy New Year

So freakin excited

Ok so I just wanted to write little blog about the best Christmas present ever...thats right MARY IS HERE....ha ha she pretty much gave me a heart attack and for real surprised me...all the gifts I got this year was great dont get me wrong but a friend comin all the way from Ontario to hang out is way cool. Well our sides have already hurt from laughin so hard and she is here till the tenth of Jan so I will get more laughter in...and maybe park conversations eh Jello and Mary...ha ha anyways all have a great New Years I know I will.

It's Christmas

Well I have tons to say...and they are not all the same topic so lets see how this blog goes.

Christmas...well it was good this year...what did I get well I got...a cappuccino maker...I got syrup shots from starbucks, coffee from starbucks, and cocoa from starbucks...I got a water cooler(which I have wanted for like two years cause I dont drink tap water)...and I got a blanket...I also got a $50 gift card to starbucks...and a bunch of stocking stuffers...yeah I got some good stuff....mmm caffiene...anyways this was a good Christmas...and it will be one for the memory books.

I am at home now just finished setting all my things up and cleaning a bit...and decided to check my e-mail...and well apperntly I am a rude person and have never been nice so thats great...I guess next year I have to change my attitude and be nice or somethin...I dunno how much nicer I can get without bein a door mat...anyways whatever.

Well I dont normally make new year resolutions but I have a couple imortant ones this year...one is to quit drinkin energy drinks...yes people in 2007 there will be no more energy drinks in this Nikki...and I have a way of keeping it...Amanda is keepin an eye on this one...another one I am goin to make is...spend more time with God to get to know Him more then I have ever gotten to know Him before.

Which brings me to another point...some people think that I have found better friends then my old ones...that is not true...we all grow apart and its not that there better...they call me and ask me to do stuff..so I do it...no one else calls...and if blogs in the past have said I like these friends better thats not how its supposed to sound...you cant see the tone in peoples blogs...thats what sucks about the internet...anyways my new decision is to not care what people think of me...I am goin to do whatever I feel is right...who cares if you get mad at me...I am not here to please you...I am here to live my life and live it to the full.

Well I am out now and I love you all my friends...I am goin to relax with myself and maybe watch some television...Merry Christmas...and enjoy every moment that you have...you never know when its your last.

Happy Birthday Jesus

I am glad I went to church today....pretty much didnt want to but I knew there was a reason to....I love my church and love how they love children...today during worship Katie sang with Miranda and I love it...and miss her up there...and they had invited all the children to go up there and sit on the stage with them while they sang Christmas carols...wow beautiful sight I started crying...then one little boy in particular decided to break dance yes Amanda it was Josiah...he is one of my fav kids well all the Brown kids I love...and then the kids got sent to kidzone and Pastor came up and spoke for a short time and it was a good Christmas message...he said we are always making memories no matter if they are good or bad...and I totally agree...then he talked about it bein Jesus's birthday which I have always celebrated even as a kid and not believing I have always kept it His birthday cause thats what it was about my mom taught me that at a young age even tho we didnt go to church...my question is what am I goin to give Him for His birthday? The question is what are you goin to give Him on His birthday...in reality its all about Him...just somethin for you all to think about...Love you all my friends and have an awesome Christmas...get ready...everything youahve been believing for is goin to come to pass....2006 this is my year!

You ass wipe

Ok so its about 1:40am and I am still up and have to be up early tomorrow...but I have had a great night....I hung out with old friends that I havent hung out with in forever and we laughed to our sides hurt it was awesome...do you remember the days when you would play the card game President aka Asshole forever...well we did that tonight let me explan our night.

It all started with some supper at BP's...Jelea, Kurtis and I went to BP's we had some yummy food and talked to our friend Kayla who works there it was good...then Kayla is like I want to bake a cake and well you all know what I did...I got super excited and was like yeah...so Jelea, Kurtis and I were off to wal-mart...yes we know how dangerous it is for Jelea and I to go to wal-mart together but Kurtis was there our voice of reason...we bought some movies that we didnt watch and cake and icing...goodtimes...so we headed back to my house and waited for Kayla to get off work...we had some fun watchin tv...then Kayla came over and we watched more tv till it was almost eleven and we decided to make this cake...so we made cupcakes mmm team effort well one team member didnt do their part....the instructions said three eggs and Kayla had put two in...I didnt notice untill they were in the oven and I had looked at the container and only two were missing not three...ohh well they were fine...so we decided to play our card game at my kitchen table good times...we played it forever...calling each other names and cards were flying and it was awesome...my throat now hurts...and I am wide awake...and we now call each other ass wipes so yeah.

Anyways old friends that I havent hung out with in forever mainly cause they have been gone and life happens...but it was great to be with them once again...we said a lot of remember whens...I love those...and we bonded like we have never before...this was an interesting mix but I loved it...we need to do it again sometime...well its almost 2am and I have to get up soon but I think I am goin to watch a movie so have a great weekend all...and dont forget be yourself...I tried somethin new tonight...being me with my old friends whom I used to wear a mask around...I love it...and I love all my friends....goodnight

Kill me now

I think I finally burnt myself out...there is nothing left...God is definitly gonna have to take over...I am sooo tired...I am goin to bed early tonight...I think I might crash but I dont want to so I need rest...but I still have some work to do tonight...so yeah...I dunno why I made this a blog maybe its cause I wanted the world to know...I am almost dead...so if you dont hear from me...I probably crashed somewhere and am not wakin up for a long time

I like comments people

Ok for real...I used to have so many comments on my blog that it took my awhile to read them all...now you people dont comment anymore...I do write these blogs for me but ittwould be awesome if you guys commented so I know people are readin my blogs...I comment on your blogs yep I do...well have a great day every one.

Watch Out

Well today is monday well at least for another 30min it is...I had today off work and it was great but I am excited to go back tomorrow...my friend Amanda is back home in Ontario for a couple of weeks and well thats sad...I had a great evening with Karen we went for coffee and chatted it up...I finished my Christmas shopping and thats awesome too...today is a good day...and well life is ok...but I have done a lot of thinkin today.

I was on the bus and saw a lady who works at Arby's and well she has worked there since that place has opened up so thats about 14 years....thats a long time to be at a place and not only that but a fast food place...my question is why? Why would she stay somewhere that isnt goin to get her anywhere? Why would she stay at a place that the boss treats her badly? Who knows...but here is the thing...I believe she is comfortable. People get in these comfort zones and that my friends is why nothin is gettin done in this world...and I dont want to be like that...I want to stay out of my comfort zone and do somethin new everyday...so today I go talkin about my dreams I got talkin about things I am passionate about...and I got excited...I may get to move to Edmonton like I dream of...I may...but do I want to? I literally love my city...I thought my heart was in Edmonton but as I think about it more...really it is here...but I do have a passion to see Edmonton rise like here is...for the last few years I have been so sure of where God is takin me...but this week I actually have no idea and its really exciting...I have been in the shadows for way to long...its time...its time for me to rise up and change the world...ha ha people laugh at me when they hear me say...I want to be prime minister...who are they to tell me what I cant do...here I go...taking on the world...watch out Nikki is all fired up.

Completly lost my mind

Ok well like the title says I have lost it...ok ha ha very funny you all think I already have...no but for real...ok so Amanda has this new car right and all it has in it is a cassette player...so she went and bought all these old cassettes...like Brittany Spears, Vanilla Ice...and well you get the point...well I got home and a weird thing happened...I wanted more...yes friends I wanted more...now I havent listened to this stuff since I was in junor high school...well...I even think my limewire was shocked when I searched Brittany Spears, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, and yes my friends even O-town...ok I think maybe I am sick or something...but I made this great...I mean this ok playlist with all these songs on it and this is what I am listening to right now as I type this...ohh wait Shania Twain is even on it....yep country friends(shut up Jello its not goin to last) well I am goin to go now and maybe you could pray for me...Amanda look what you have done to me...this is not the music I have grown to love...I like bands like...My Chemical Romance, The Spill Canvas, Minus the Bear, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, you know...the great stuff...well I am goin to bed and maybe get my senses back in the morning or something...at least I hope so

New Attitudes

I know I just wrote a new post today but I needed to write another one cause there is things on my mind....you know what I am tired of...the words cant, quit and impossible....cause the last time I checked everything is possible through God...ok so I know it wasnt that long ago that I was using those words...but if you have been around me lately you would see the life I have in me the new attitude towards life and how I want to live and I dont want to be dragged down by situations...I want people to see that walking with God is truly amazing....and that its worth it...It's funny cause I used to get so frustrated when people say they cant do somethin and then turn around and say I cant do it...I would tell people the can do their dreams...but then I would think mine would never come true...I believed in people but not myself...well my friends thats changed and I do believe in myself and I still want you to pursue your dreams...I want you to go beyond anything I could ever do...I want you to do better then me...I want your dreams to be bigger then mine...and I have some big dreams so get dreamin...I want to show people they have a purpose...and that God made them special for a reason...and they were not a mistake....ha ha reminds of somethin my mom always told me growing up she said "you never planned but you definitly werent a mistake" she doesnt understand that the power in those words made me the amazng women of God I am today...and you know what else gets me excited is....I did it...I am doin it...and I will forever...what you ask...walking with God...my friends all fell away and I used to follow them...and some of them are still waiting for me to fall...but this life is too good to do that...I will not fall...I am more then a conquer...my question is why arent people seeing it? Why cant they see God is the way the only way...you know why...cause I wasnt living it before...I was before but then I didnt care..apathy ha ha somethin huge in my life...ha ha no more I am shakin things off and taking on the world...ok this blog may have seemed like a ramble but I said what I wanted to after all it is my blog and I can say whatever I want...well everyone I am excited for the first time ever...for Christmas I am so excited to spend it with mu family...and show them Jesus...I will be Jesus so that they can see who He is...and maybe they will get it too...Have a great weekend friends...mine is just beggining.

Great Week

Well I thought I would update my blog since its been a week....well lets see its friday morning and I am at home because I booked today off...ohh right to pretty much do nothing...untill tonight...its Christmas at the DC my favorite event of the year...we bless Medicine Hat which is so amazing and I love it....you get to see happy people smiling children and all around its a great time...well yeah...so I just spent a nice morning shopping with my friend Amanda and I actaully started my Christmas shopping...yes people I started before December 24th amazing eh...well its been a good week...I changed my attitude about life and if I am havin a crappy day its ok cause it will get better and if I think of one good thing that happened that day then its a good day...well yeah I dont really kn0w what to say besides life is good...so I will leave you with a great qoute.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Have a fantastic weekend!

Best Christmas EVER!!!!

Ok I know what you are thinking Christmas is still two weeks away....but three of my friends and I had our own little Christmas this weekend before one leaves for Ontario...and it was amazing and this is why.

It is truly amazing when people come into your life that get to know you....that actually take the time and get to know you....every present I got was somethin that no one else would have thought of...that none of my other friends would even think I would like....heck most of my other friends make fun of me for being stupid or somethin but I am not....and most of my other friends if they saw me reading a book would be like..."you read" and they would be shocked...but thats because they havent taken the time to really understand who I am...the thinker....the reasearcher....the learner...the world changer. My other friends have said yeah go and pursue your dreams but they never actually helped me out by giving me tools to pursue my dreams...now dont get me wrong I love all my friends even though they may think different...I just sometimes rather hang out with people who are goin to lift me up and not tear me down...and that is how I feel with these three...so this weekend we had Christmas....and the feelings I got were feelings of love and unity...I love these three people....and I thank God every day for putting them into my life...they have made blogs about what each person brings to the group and what each person means to them...well its my turn.

Cody...well he is cody and he is amazing...he gets you to think...he challenges you...he reminds me to speak positive into my life...and to speak what I want...he makes me feel special and I dont normally get close to guys...and he is breaking down walls...and showing me what a brother is like...what a friend is like...he goes the extra mile.

Heather...ha ha well she makes me laugh and not because she gets everything we say like five minutes later...but because she brings so much Joy to the room she is in...she brings questions like why and I get to answer them and then I never forget why I believe what I believe...even tho sometimes our opinions clash she still accepts them and still says well thats a great point...she doesnt tear my ideas down...and I love that about her.

Amanda aka Hazzard...well this friend has truly challenged me...and broken MANY walls down...she is a keeper definitly...God has brought this one in my life for a reason...she believes in me even when I dont care...she tells me like it is even when I dont want to hear it...she truly cares and I have just learned that...she is a great friend...and she has shown me a part of God that I wouldnt have found in anyone else.

These people are my friends and I love each one of them...they are amazing in different ways...this Christmas was amazing because there was no fighting there was peace...and I got to experiance a family Christmas...in a different way...in a way I will never forget...I was in the greatest mood today...I was a real happy...somethin I have forgotten could happen....I found a piece of me I left behind and forgot to pick up...I found a part of God that I have been searching for all this time...I found intimacy with God...and I found hope once again...thank you friends...I really love you guys...a real love...this is a Christmas I will NEVER forget...this one changed my life...Merry Christmas everyone else...and dont forget....love is actually all around.

mmm 12 cupcakes

You know what bugs me...people who cheat in life...people who cheat in general...ok now some of my friends who probably dont read this would argue with me but they say I have cheated and that is not true cause I hate cheaters and it actually pisses me off when accused of cheating and I didnt...I get all angry and want to punch them in the face...but for real it takes everything I have to not hit them...anyways this world is full of cheaters people who cheat to get higher in a company...or favoritism...bosses you give someone else somethin cause they are their favorite....I work my ass off in everything I do and play fair and never get ahead or win...I am starting to think maybe I have to cheat to get somewhere...even tho I know it would be wrong but eh its workin for others....another thing that bugs me...is when someone at work says eh thats the way it is...you cant change it...its always been that way...hell no...thats not the way it is thats the way you have made it...and I can so change it...it doesnt have to stay that way...wow this world is goint o shit cause of cheaters and people who hate change or have no ambition...sorry about all the swears but I am tellin it like it is...and the way its in my head...well thats all I have to say for now

Season

I am in a season of I dont care...of I am stressed all the time...and of I am happy to be on my own...times like this people hate cause I never want to do anything but like the first part said I dont care...I want to back out of prior commitments and just do nothing and I think I might just do that...well this is where I am just so you all know...enjoying the peace that I find here...and no where else.

A year

Well this year has been pretty interesting so far...and with a month left I have taken some time to look through old stuff and see where I was a year ago...I found somethin that I had written about a year ago I thought I would share:

Life is so confusing one minute you could be the happiest person ever the next minute the rage takes over. This rage just creeps up and grabs you and then you dont want to be where you are anymore all you want is to be alone. This is how it feels it climbs up from you feet to your head and covers you. You get all hot and shaky. Then it all begins your fists clench and you want to hit someone. So you have to leave before something gets out of hand. So you go into a quiet room by yourself and you just want to scream and let it all loose. You just want to fight and punch something. Everything is all spinning and you cant think so clearly its not getting better but worse by the minute. You want to run and you want to hide. Thats the anger that I feel. It is painful inside. It hurts because you dont want to feel this way, you want to feel the love that God has for you, you want to feel joy and be happy. But thats not how it always is.

Yeah well anger still controls my life and so I got thinkin if I was dealin with this a year ago why am I still dealin with it...the answer is I wont let it go...so here it is God...I am letting it go and you need to help me with it...and so do you friends...I am goin to try and do this but I need help from you guys...Amanda you know what to do...and thanx for the help you have already given me.