Pondering

Have you ever sat down and thought about your life...about where its headed and how you are goin to get there....have you ever thought about past experiances and thought what would have happened if...I do it ALL the time and I always wonder what would happen if I had done things different...I had a good experiance today...I went to my mom's house for birthday supper...and it was incrediable I was myself...and in the card she had givin me it said words I long to hear from my mother..."I am proud of you"...to me those are powerful words...she actually acknowledges where I am and the success I have accomplished...it was really cool...almost made me cry then I remembered I dont cry...my life is actually goin great but yet I am not happy with it at times its really weird...I am in a different mood that I cant describe...its like I care about my life and God right now but I am also pondering a lot of thoughts on where my life can go...I dont want to settle anymore for the mediocre life...I am not settling I realized for whats in front of me I want new and different and adventure...I had this huge plan that I was goin to get married and do all these things in the next five years or ten...but now I dont care if I dont get married right now or if I dont find a guy...I want to live my life with no restrictions right now...with no ties...thats where I am...well jsut some thoughts...Nikki Out!