Hmmm Interesting...

Well this week has had its moments....but I have had some good ones and some bad ones...work has been stressful but in the process its been stinkin great...there is this new girl I work with who is awesome and great with the kids even tho she thinks toddlers arent her thing she is amazin...and I love my job...I have been sick for a couple days and still go to work cause I love my job...I love waking up in the mornin and goin to work...I love it...I bet you are wonderin what the picture is...well its my certificate from the government...I got a diploma from the college for graduating but this is the certificate from the government that tells people that I am a Level 3 which is awesome cause I get to make more money now woohoo...umm lets see tonight was awesome we got into some great convrsations....and stuff the kind that I love...yeppers...my life is amazing right now I am lookin past all the crap I go through and jsut bein myself around others...even at work and at my mom's house and everything just bein myself is the best...who cares if people dont like me I am this person and thats who I am...so that is where I am at I will keep you all updated on this adventure I call life...notice how its no longer a nightmare...for those of you have heard me use that term...goodnight

Should women preach???

1 Timothy 2:9-15 (New American Standard Bible)

9Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. 11 A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. 12 But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. 13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. 14And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.


Ok so what does this verse actually mean? Can women preach in church on Sundays…that is the real question…I want to know your opinion…here is what I think….yes women should preach in church or where ever God tells them to…now if you tell me that God does not tell them to I don’t think you can say that cause you don’t know what God is speakin to others…and the same is the jobs women have as factory workers, farmers, doctors, dentists, lawyers and so on…if we cant preach then we cant do those jobs cause originally those were mens jobs…now you are going to tell me that times have changed and women can now do those things…yes they can and women can preach…why is this such a conterversial subject…Jesus said 19"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20 (New American Standard Bible)…he didn’t say ok men now go and preach the gospel and women make supper and take care of the kids…that’s all you can do…nope did not say that….now why you ask am I thinking of this…because its come up and its something stuck in my head as something even my generation believes as truth…I believe that has a religious spirit all over it….yes this is goin to make some people mad but you know what…I like controversy…and I like my Jesus….women can preach….God is in their words…God is here…and He is relevant…so that is what I have to say…now don’t get me wrong I am not judging I am looking for what you think…you are entitled to your beliefs…but its time for this to not be such a big deal…if God has called these women to preach he has called them to preach we cant argue with Him…think outside the box…and stop putting God in a box…He is about change…if you think this then go back to wearing skirts and long hair and braiding it cause it also says that in the bible and you know maybe braiding you’re hair will get you into heaven…..just so you know I wont care what you say on my blog I want honest opinions and I am ok if its against mine…I like to hear people’s thoughts….I don’t judge and I will still like you its ok…maybe I should be quiet I might not be listenin to God's word...maybe I am not goin to heaven cause I dont braid my hair....hmmm….what do you say?

Smellin like a port-a-potty

Well I have jsut had a a great week...Mary came down from Ontario for the week and Jelea and I spent the entire week with her...everything from sex in a pan to shopping and smelling like out houses it was a blast. Ohh just a note never stop at those little "Rest Stops" in the middle of no where after coming out you may smell like the out house it was nasty they are also scary inside. Anyways I had a great week and learned a lot...somethin I learned this week is true friends will let you tell them all and let you be yourself around them and they will still be your friend. I also learned transparency is the best like I said in my last blog...and its a great time for bonding. I also learned that I have changed a lot since the summer and its for the better...my opinions and mindsets have changed and I dont think the same as my friends and thats ok. I also found out that my friends and I have different beliefs when it comes to Christianity....so yeah it was a great week. The sadest part was leavin Mary at the Calgary airport at 6am....yeah you heard me right it was 6am man were we tired...Jello and I had troubles stayin awake on the way home....but we made it alive. You know what else was cool I got to see Carmen...a friend from the ranch it was really exciting that she just happened to be in the same change room at the same time as me...I was tryin some clothes on at bluenotes in the chinook mall at Calgary and there she was standing there trying clothes on too....I am sure it was a divine appoitment...seeing her made me miss the ranch and all the people a little bit more tho...but its ok I will see them again...anyways I gotta go...have a great weekend everyone...Nikki Out!

Spiritual Suicide

Well I have been thinkin a lot today and I was on my way to Wal-mart today spendin some alone time and God time...and I thought about my life and where I was in the summer and where I am today....well I am not where I should be because of yes you guessed it spiritual suicide...I keep goin up and come crashin down...I choose where I am and I know that...I dont know why I do these things to myself...I came home from the ranch and felt like I am out of place....I felt like I dont fit in with any one...even my closest friends...I am doing things I know for a fact that I shouldnt be doing...but I do them and commit spiritual suicide....I feel like I have grown a ton I have been a Christian for about 4 and a half years and I have grown fast...and this summer I have grown a ton more and I dont want to loose any of that and its not like I have its almost like I threw out what I learned and where I was to be with my friends and to be at their level instead of bringin them to mine...now here is the thing I get scared...scared of where I am goin with God and scared of the levels that I am on because it means I have to change and have to start walking....thats hard....I am growing up and becoming a spiritual warrior and a fighter and a conquer and I will fight this battle because its worth it...the thing is I need to put on my armor and start fighting with all my weapons and all the time instead of saying ohhh I will do it later...I have time...what if I dont?...hmm thats somethin to think about....I feel like my friends dont understand me and think that I have nothin to say about stuff and everytime I talk...I experiance this at c&c...people go ohhh no here she goes again...ok sure I have some energy and sure I am not payin attention all the time...but there is some good revelation that I have and there is some good wisdom I have...and if people sat down and listened to me for a bit they would see that I actually have smart things to say...I actually love and crave conversation....conversation that gets you thinkin...I crave discussion about God and about politics and all that stuff I crave intelligent conversations...I dont get that here....I need to find that...I need someone I can trust and tell all to...I need to be transparent...thats what I need...transparency

Hmm...

Well today was awesome and yet I dont feel that great I have no idea why...I am thinkin about the future and about the present and about the past a lot lately...the past is there to remind me where I came from and to not let me forget where God saved me from...the present is here for me to enjoy now and the future is there to give me hope...you know what else....lately I have felt like a social freak...someone who doesnt like hangin in big groups I like to be alone now or one on one or maybe even a group of four would do....I dunno I know thats bad but lately thats how I feel I think its been since camp and I dunno why...hmm well I am havin a great week mostly because it feels like the world stood still and we dont have an agenda but we can do whatever we want...the world will start turning again I know it...hmm untill then I will stay here...

Pondering

Have you ever sat down and thought about your life...about where its headed and how you are goin to get there....have you ever thought about past experiances and thought what would have happened if...I do it ALL the time and I always wonder what would happen if I had done things different...I had a good experiance today...I went to my mom's house for birthday supper...and it was incrediable I was myself...and in the card she had givin me it said words I long to hear from my mother..."I am proud of you"...to me those are powerful words...she actually acknowledges where I am and the success I have accomplished...it was really cool...almost made me cry then I remembered I dont cry...my life is actually goin great but yet I am not happy with it at times its really weird...I am in a different mood that I cant describe...its like I care about my life and God right now but I am also pondering a lot of thoughts on where my life can go...I dont want to settle anymore for the mediocre life...I am not settling I realized for whats in front of me I want new and different and adventure...I had this huge plan that I was goin to get married and do all these things in the next five years or ten...but now I dont care if I dont get married right now or if I dont find a guy...I want to live my life with no restrictions right now...with no ties...thats where I am...well jsut some thoughts...Nikki Out!

Good times

Well Mary is here I am stayin at Jello's house for the week...I dont work....yep pretty much life is great. I am excited for this week cause we are goin to have a great time...we have laughed like crazy and it like Mary has never left. I am so excited and she keeps sayin she can't believe she's in Alberta. Let me tell you if you want to do somethin with me this week you will have to book an appoitment but to be honest I am already booked....ha ha ha. Anyways this is the last week before Jello leaves that I am goin to have all this fun with her. Then she leaves me for two months and I dunno what I am goin to do without her....I might just go completly crazy or maybe start my own adventure. I dont know we will see what happens...I know me and my new friend Hazzard can start some adventures together...but dont worry Jello you can never be replaced only you and I really get each other he he....all I have to say is before bed. Anyways thats all I have to say for now I will update about my fun week later. Nikki Out!

23 Eh?

Like the title says 23 eh? Well that is how old I turned today and I love birthdays...after everyone left and I cleaned my house up...I sat down looked at my cards from people and jsut thought how blessed am I...I have all these friends that care and love me enough to come to my birthday...for those of who are readin this and came thank you so much...friends are important to me and I really appreciate I dont even think you guys understand...this was a good birthday....and I have seen favor in my life already this last couple of weeks...and this is goin to be a new year with new favor and dreams comin true I am so excited to see what God is goin to do in my life. Well I am off to Calgary tomorrow the city I am origanlly from yeppers thats a great place...Jelea and I are gettin Mary and I am goin to visit Travis...also get to see Karen woohoo. Well I am goin to bed soon so you all have a great weekend...I know I will and I had a great birthday...this is one for the memory books.

God makes me laugh...

Well let me tell you about my day its been incredibale. First I go to work and its an ok day untill my boss calls me in the office to ask me questions about stuff. And pretty much tells me I am doin a great job and she has seen a lot of change in me in the last three years...and all these things. I have favor at work and thats really cool...she said that I am young but she was proud of me for what I am doin at my work....my boss told me she was proud of me that is stinkin amazing and I am excited to be working there its a great place to be. Then I go to my c&c group which as a young adults group and all the things that were getting talked about there are on my heart as well....God is lining things up like crazy...I mostly think He is just making more reasons for me to stay here in Medicine Hat...but let me tell you my life is going great. He is sending me straight into my destiny and even if I try to put the brakes on He says NO and then He says MOVE....then after that all I here is GO. Favor is all over my life and I am doing great I am successful and I am only 22 well actually in a couple hours I will be 23 yes thats right my birthday is tomorrow and I am pumped for that. I am also really punped to go see Mary on saturday...this is a great start to an even better weekend and the week that I have ahead of me is goin to be amazing. I am just in a great mood...well I jsut wanted to leave this note...Nikki Out!

Sunday

Ok so all I can say about today is wow....so I didnt want to go to church today and I did and it was awesome...God really grabbed me today. I had a blast today....I hung out with Justin and Hazzard all day and it was awesome. So some words were spoken over me in church and it was exactly what I needed. So we watched some movies today and played at Ruckers and had a Vibe meeting...all such a blast. Now I did have this cool blog in my head to write about and I cant remember it....so if I do I will write about as soon as I think of it...watch I remember in the middle of the night I will get up and write about it. So you all have a fantastic week I know I will.

Starting to come back...

Starting to become my old self again...Nikki is comin back slowly. So I had a blast with my friends this weekend and it was great...like old times. We had fun we laughed we did stupid stuff which some didnt work...it was great. So lets start with my friday...ohhh man a day I wish never happened...I had a bad day at work...it was bad but I am over it now...then I hung out on msn till Jello got off work...and we hung out and went to Kayla's and watched blue crush I was there till 3:00am I was super tired tho. The saturday I got up and went to Back to School Bash at The DC that was fun like always....seeing those kids bein blessed by the prizes and all that stuff but most of all bein blessed with smiles and love. The backpacks are a weapon...yeah a weapon of love...everything we did today was with love and it was amazing I love it. I love watchin the kids go around from station to station every year and seein the smiles that the volunteers give...and the unconditional love that Jesus gives to us that we are givin to these children...for real other then God kids are my life I love it.So after that we went for ice cream mmm I like ice cream...then we hung out at my house all night ok now we wanted to try so things and they are fun I will explain. So we made some draino bombs that werent that exciting so yeah and then we tried the banana and sprite thing...well apparently you eat a banana and drink sprite and you cant keep it down eh...well that didnt work I just felt bloated. It was LAME...anyways...then we made a pop fountian that was sweet. So yeah then we went back to my house and hung out which was also fun and we were up late again...I have had a great weekend and next weekend is my birthday and Mary is comin and that is exciting as well..I have been lookin forward to it. So our new friend Danger Zone aka Hazzard aka Crick aka Amanda lol lots of nicknames she has gained from us...anyways she hung out with us tonight and it was a good time and I should maybe tell the crick story and maybe some of you Ontario folk can maybe tell me if you call it a crick. Ok so you know a creek right? Well apparently Hazzard calls a yucky muddy stream of water aka a runoff she calls it a crick...now has anyone ever heard of that or is she on glue....ha ha she is goin to make a comment about this blog I know she is...anyways its gettin late and I gotta go to church in the morn so I am goin to bed. Nikki Out!

Still waiting...

I am still waiting for this weekend to be over..its the longest weekend I have had in a long time...I cant wait till sunday at 3:00 when the kids start arriving...you may say uhh Nikki its Wednesday and uhh Nikki what are you talkin about kids arriving? Well thats how the last two months have been I have had been at Eagles Nest Ranch and I would have the weekends off then I would go back to the camp and sunday the kids would arrive. I am still waiting...it feels like I should be there...I need to be there...I was truly happy there...sometimes I think it was a bad thing I went. You may not understand that statement either...I know God called me to go there but it was out in the middle of no where and I could hide...I used it as a hiding place from reality to me the best place ever. But its gone now untill next summer. Its over and I am heart broken...this truly was the best summer ever...now its only a memory...one that is etched in my mind and will never leave. I actaully learned to love and trust out there...somethin I have had troubles with all my life. Now that I am home and friendships have died and new ones have been made and life is different. People are different the world is different. It's like I dont know how to cope...its like I became a social freak...kinda like a homeschooled kid(ha ha Mary)...I just dont know what to do...all I want to do is stay in my room and not come out...ohh wait I do that. I miss the family I had at the ranch the people that could call your bluff....they knew when you were sad and lying about it...they knew what to say and they gave you tough love at times...ohhh how I miss that. I need people in my life thats goin to call me out and say Nikki you arent ok are you. Hmmm I cant wait for this weekend to be over and for sunday to come...Sunday's a comin.

My final answer

Ok so I am sure you are all getting sick of hearing me talk about Ontario and moving there. Well I made a final decision about the whole situation...I decided to not make a decision...January is a long ways away and I still have lots of time to decide so I will decide when the time comes. So for now I am goin to live my life here in the Hat and enjoy it. So whats new with me? Absolutly nothin I work, eat, sleep and come on here...I have no life. Meh whatever...I really like blogging just wish I had more to say..you people need to write some more blogs I have nothin to read...so go now and write a blog...anywho I am out.

What do you think?

Ok so I was discussing this topic the other day with some friends...what do you think about Christians goin to the bar? Some of my friends said it could help people stumble...now what happens if you were just hangin out there and not drinkin. I believe if Jesus was here today He would be in there and hangin out with those people. Someone brought a great point up to me the other day they said how can we expect our friends to come to our place if we wont go to theirs. Thats a great point how can we expect people to come to church if we wont hang out with them where they feel comfortable...Well I want to know your opinion on this topic...tell me please.

I dunno

Ok so today is a good day...I am in a great mood and I have gotten my time in kidzone back....I love kidszone so much...toddlers are so amazing. Anyways I am happy for once I havent been a real happy in a long time...I hung out with people today somethin I also havent done much lately. I am just feelin like things are gettin back to normal...Josie is home this weekend and that makes me really happy. I missed her. I am still sad about some things tho like Jello still wants to move away and I am staying here....Josie brought somethin to my attention tho that was good...she said maybe God is testing my trust to see if I will trust in Him...I think it might be true I know my future is here and thats why I need to stay...but what do you do when ALL the people you truly trust live so far away? What do you do then? People dont get my trust that easy its hard to trust people. I guess all you need is God...but I am a huge people person and I need people in my life to help me...I need them...now this is a different Nikki then some of you know....cause awhile back I said I dont need anyone...but I do ok...but everyone I trust doesnt live here and that sucks....so I am gonna have to ask God to bring me people that I can trust....or maybe they are already in my life I just have to trust them. I dunno what to do right now...old friendships are dying and I can see that and that sucks too...I am the type of person that likes to have a large circle of friends but we are all drifting...hey but on the good side I do have a new friend...and she is sweet...right Amanda :) you know it. Anyways I dunno what else to say so....Nikki Out!

Big Sister

Ok I know I already posted today but somethin else has been on my mind and I am goin to write about it here. After all this is my blog and I can do what I want with it. Ok so all day I have been thinkin about one dream of mine that I know can never come true...now dont get me wrong I am a dreamer and I believe in dreams comin true. But this one cant...its my dream of havin a big sister. I always wanted one even when I was a kid...you know that best friend that looked after you...and made sure you never get hurt...someone to protect you. I would love that. Someone you could cuddle with and jsut talk to...while she would play with your hair...and then you would fall asleep. Someone that when you were scared at night she would stay by your bed untill you have fallen asleep. That person that would keep you in line but at the same time show you the greatest love. Oh how I would love to have someone like that. That one person she knows everything about you and still she wont tell mom or dad unless it gets worse. To be close to a human being like that would be awesome. Ok now you are probably thinkin I am nuts but its true I have always dreamed of that...well its too late...I am 22 almost 23 in 14 days I might add. Anyways its too late I cant get an older sister...and I am too old I guess for someone to be that person to me...so its one dream that will just have to be a dream.*sigh*

Excellence

Ok for real dont people know how to do their jobs with excellence. I really hate when people complain about the rules of a work place. They are put into place for a reason. Policies and Procedures are there for a reason and its to keep people safe. Now when childrens lives are at stake I feel that its very important to follow the rules. And to do what my boss tells me...but lots of people have this I dont care attitude I am seeing it every where. Or if someone says we cant do somethin they say do it any ways thats not a good attitude to have. That is not excellence. My whole life I have gone towards the goal of excellence I thats how I live my life and thats how I think we all need to live our lives. Well I wanted to rant about that for a bit...Nikki Out!