Thank You

I just wanted to write a blog quick saying people actually care and love me. I was reading my comments today and sitting here thinking about it and its true you guys care. Hmmm I think I just got true revelation on it just now...and for those of you who know me thats breakthrough. Ohhh man Dawn I am sweating through my eyeballs again. LOL Well I just wanted to leave that note...Thank You everyone and I love you too.

Interesting Times

My last couple of weeks have been pretty interesting. I told a friend that last week was the most powerful crappy week ever. Ha ha ha yeah I know that may not make sense to some of you but it does to me. I had an extremly busy and tireing week but then the weekend came. And I got to see Dawn and hang out with her all weekend. God did soooo much this weekend it was amazing. I had a breakthrough and I learned a lot of things. I got closer to an amazing friend coughdawncough lol. I know that God has this amazing plan for my life...the thing I dont like is that I dont know how its all going to play out. I wish just sometimes God would let us in on His plan. I know some of the plan but I dont know how to get there. I know that we are just supposed to put our trust in God but where I am at right now its harder to do then say. I am at a spot in my life where I cant see the hope, I cant see anything I dont know how to get out of this. I am stuck and I need help. I wrote a poem I am going to share:

Too heavy to walk I have fallen
My legs are not strong enough to hold me
They shake and quiver as I try to stand
So I drag myself across the ground
I want to keep going because quitting is not an option
My vision is starting to get blurry
I cant see the finish line anymore
I cant see anyone around me anymore
I am weak and tired
I need someone to help me
My soul cries out
My soul screams out
My body aches
There is so much weight on my shoulders
It feels like someone is holding me down
Where are you?
You said you would never leave
How come I cant feel you?
Cant move anymore
Come and rescue me

Nicole Andrews 22

There is sooo much that I need to get through right now and I believe that this weekend was a stepping stone to my future. Quitting is not an option.

Road Trip

Well I am back from my road trip to Edmonton. Yeah it was fun I am not a big fan of lobg care rides tho. The best part was getting to see my friends. I got to stay at Dawn's house and that was fun. We went to some new restraunts that I havent been to. I actually want to move to Sherwood Park now I really liked it. The church I went to was kick butt...they are simliar to my church here in the Hat. Ohhh and you will never guess what I let Dawn do...he he I let her put make-up on me...yes I wore make-up. It was kinda cool and didnt look bad at all. It was a struggle the first time she put it on me ha ha she sat on me and did it. Yeah I got see the Chadwicks and they are a cool family that I love in Edmonton and we hung out with Ed too. Connie hung out with us for the one night. I really like it up there. Everytime I go up there I find a different reason for moving up there....its always something that has been on my mind. It has been on my mind for the last year. Hmm I dunno...but anyways I am really tired so I think I may go to bed soon. Have a great week all.

My amazing night!

Ok well now that my mind isnt going as crazy as it was last night I can share with you all about my amazing night. Ok so last night I went to my faithworks class...for those of you who dont know what faithworks is...its a bible college class from Hillsongs Church in Australia and its an evening class that is taught at my church. So anyways I went to it last night and I havent actually been to it all term cause my other college classes conflict with me going. But I decided to skip my college class last night and I ended up at faithworks. So anyways it totally was God that I was there. At the beggining we prayed for about 45 minutes and we normally pray at the beggining but not that long it was sooooo amazing and I got filled up and I got some amazing words. Here is what was said over me: One of the girls said that I am going to have a daycare centre that is going to stand out, it is going to show others how its done. She also said she got two words they were ester and rescue...she said just like ester rescued her people I am going to rescue children. One of the other girls prayed and said that she saw a picture she saw a white tea cup with a blue trim and it was so detailed and uniqe. She said it was God's favorite tea cup and He liked to fill it with hot chocolate with whip cream on top and chocolate chavings and sprinkles...she said the He loved how sweet the hot chocolate was. Then she said He craves it...He looks for this cup all the time. The goes on to tell me that I am the tea cup...when God needs that sweetness He looks for me and He craves to be around me. He loves me and looks for me. Ohhh and they said that the colorful sprinkles on top describes my personality that I am colorful and fun. Then one of the other girls prays for me and says that I am called to be a leader of leaders. She said that I am going to be a mother of MANY children. Children who dont have mothers of fathers I will be there for them. She said dont give up and dont isolate myself because thats what the enemy wants. He knows that I am going to affect many children and he doesnt want that so he is going to try and keep me away. She also said dont doubt and do go other ways no matter how tempting it is stick on this path cause I am on the right path. Even when I keep going around the mountian over and over again God has always been there and He has never left or got frustrated with me. She also prayed for the desires of my heart to quicken to come faster. Yeah so that is what was spoken over me and I was so empowered and filled when I left last night it was amazing. For those of you who dont know the whole month of January I pretty much isolated myself and kept going around the same spot in the mountian and I had doubts if I was supposed to do this job. I wanted to change careers already. But this night of prayer pretty much told me I am on the right path. Also I have dreams for this amazing daycare that is going to change the way people think about children and how daycares are supposed to be run. I said someday when someone is taking the program I am in they are going to be reading my name in a text book. I knew that God told me this is the year. I also know that this is my year of intimacy with the Father and I just stepped into the beggining of that I just stepped into it and I am soooo happy. I am ready to take on whatever right now. All I have wanted to do this week is worship the Father and I have cause He is soooo amazing and I love Him. Well there is sooo much more I could say but this is turning out to be a huge blog so I am gonna go. Ohhh and guess what I found out today...my class last night that I thought I skipped was actually cancelled. The girls today told me that the instructor had left a note on the board saying class was cancelled. That confirms to me that I was supposed to be at faithworks last night.

Thoughts

God is amazing He doesn’t say you have to worship me, He doesn’t make you listen. He sits there and waits for you to come to Him how amazing is that. Some people perceive God as this person who makes us worship Him…that’s not how He is at all. Some people think that He is all rules and no fun…but that’s not how He is at all. Yes He has rules for you but they are put into place for your own good (I know that sounds weird from me cause I hate rules). Well you see it’s almost 3am and I am up cause I can’t sleep and I was thinking about God. I was thinking about how amazing He is and how much we mean to Him. If God had a wallet every single one of our pictures would be in it now that’s a big stinkin wallet. Sometimes I think of the people in my life who don’t know God and I think of how sad it is. But then I wonder well how are they ever gonna see God if I am not showing them who He is? So the question is when you are around the people in your life that don’t know our amazing and wonderful Father are you showing Him to them? I am not talking about telling them about Him, I am talking about are caring for them? Are you loving them? Are you just sitting there listening to them when they need a friend? Are you helping people and giving the glory to God? Or are you taking all the credit? We may be the only Jesus that some people see. So we need to act like Him and do what He would do. I have some friends who did know God and lived for Him. But now they are doing their own thing. And this is what I see. God has this huge house and we all have a room in it. He goes around every night to see if we are all in our rooms and tucks us in. But when He gets to a room that has no one in it He leaves the door open and He leaves the porch light on so they can find their way home. And to me that’s so amazing He never closes the door. He is always waiting there with arms open wide. You hold the key to God's house just use it. I once wrote a poem about His arms open wide maybe someday I will share it with you all. But for now I am leaving you with those thoughts. I should maybe go get some sleep. Goodnight and go be a miracle!

Yeah

Well I am bored so I decided to write another blog. My week has been super busy and I was really tired friday night but it has been a good week. I am half finish one of my big projects for school. And I am excited about that. This weekend so far is going good. The crew hung out last night at my house and we talked to dawn on the internet and that was fun. I am excited cause next weekend I will be in edmonton and its getting closer. Its going to be like a mini holiday for me and I need a holiday. I graduate from college in a couple of months and thats cool. But I think I am going to take another program next year. I am thinking of taking the speech language patholigist assistant program. It is a pretty cool program and I really want to take it, I can take it through dristrubted learning so thats cool. Cause then I can work while I am in the program. For my practicum this semester I get to go to a preschool and I already know the lady that I am doing it with so I think it will be fun. Ummm yeah three more weeks till my mom moves to spruce grove...I am excited for her cause I heard its really nice up there. Ha ha ha I phoned my mom today and my brother answered (who is only six) and my mom wasnt home so he was supposed to give the phone to his dad but instead he said that he would take a message and then he hing up on me. He hangs up on my all the time its kinda cute but sometimes annoying. Ohhh I spoke at c&c the other night....I only spoke for ten minutes but that was one purpose I wanted to get the miracles thing into people's spirits and then I wanted to have a discussion about it and thats what happened I think it was pretty cool. Even tho it was short. Well thats an update on my life I will write when something more interesting comes up.

Best Weekend Ever!

Oh my goodness this has been the best weekend ever. I have had a bad week and God knew exactly what I needed a fun filled weekend with friends. Lets see Friday night my friend Niki came into town and hung out and we all went to the park and wrestled and just had fun like little kids agian it was the best thing ever. Then saturday we went to the irvine hockey rink and played hockey and then that night we went to my friend Melissa's house (who surprised me by coming home for the weekend) which was so exciting then on sunday we went to church and out for lunch. Then we watched the super bowl at the DC it was so fun. This weekend was awesome cause it was like I was a kid again with no care in the world. Life was put on hold and I was able to have fun for once. There has been a lot of stuff going on in my life and to have a break from reality in a good way was soooooo awesome. God knew exactly what I needed. I am really sore today cause we did a lot of physical activity this weekend and I have had lack if sleep but it doesnt matter cause I had a fun weekend. And the best part was I was myself and I had fun. Well there is a lesson to be learned its ok to be me....I am allright.

Uhhhhh....

I must be a bad roommate or something. Every one I live with I cant live with...well except one I had one great roommate. But I think that I need to move again. The fighting the yelling the swearing the drinking I hate and I cant handle it. I have even started swearing again...I swear all the time again and it sucks I stopped that now I am doing it again uhhh I hate it. I thought that I could live here but the yelling is what gets me the most. That is what happens at my moms house and I hate it I really do...I dont like when people fight. I feel pain and anger when it happens and I cant be around it...its bullshit and I am tired of hearing it. I am going to ask God what to do but the best would to live on my own all by myself...or at least with someone who can help me...who I trust and who is going to be a good influence. Someone that I can pray with whenever I need to. I am just frustrated and tired.

Rules

OK so I was writing a blog about rules and my laptop decided it wanted to tick me off and did something weird and I lost everything I was writing. So I am going to write it again. So rules I think they are dumb. My friend goes to a bible college and they have dumb rules (yeah some of you know what I am talking about). Ok I know rules are good to a point like dont go killing people thats a good rule. But a rule like dont walk across the grass thats dumb. I really dont like rules and a couple of my friends think that I need rules but ummm no. I drum to my own beat mhmmm. I am not going to let some school tell me what I can and cant do. You see I grew up an only child and I have always got what I wanted when I wanted it and how I wanted it. Yep thats the life and its not about to change anytime soon. Ha ha some of my friends call it "only child syndrome". Yeah and I know what some of you are thinking "maybe she does need some rules" but I say no. I answer to no one. Also I bet some of you are now thinking "she must not like authority' dang right I hate authority. I like the cops they are good authority but people telling me what to do with my life heck no. So what I say is down with gay rules. Rules that make no sense. I know I am ranting but hey I needed to get this out. It frustrates me. Well Nikki Out! Oh yeah and look at that pic if it was closer I think it would be a sweet pic.

Giving it to God

You know whats hard. When you like someone so much and you are not even sure they like you back. I have given this part of my life to God but sometimes its so hard to sit around and wait. I believe that the guy should pursue the girl and its hard to wait for them to do that expecially when you feel so strongly about one person. Some of you who read this are going to know exactly who I am talking about but shhhhh. I know that God has the perfect someone for me but its very hard when you dont know who it is. Like I dont want to get married at this age...I am only 22 and still have things to do before marriage but the thing is I want to find that certian someone and start a relationship and see if he is the one. You know what I mean. Well there is someone that I wish I could start that relationship with but he doesnt even even notice me and that sucks. Like for real I have never felt this strong about someone before. And it drives me nuts because I normally try and not open myself up for these type of feelings unless I think that its a possibilty. I am normally good at guarding my heart. Hmmm I am sorry that I am ranting about this but its something that is on my mind A LOT lately. And I am confused I just wish I knew what this certian some one is thinking. Anyways I am going to keep hinting and see what happens....You people who know shhhhh.

What I want to see...

I have been thinking a lot lately about life and stuff. And I know that I have expressed what I know is going to happen this year...but lets recap. So this is the year of restoration and for miracles. We are going to see God in a way that no man has seen Him before. This is the year. But you see...us believers have to start believing and walking in it. These things just arent going to happen. There is a huge fight right now in the supernatural realm and we are in it...but most of all we are in this together...the devil is super scared of what we are going to do with our God. The best part is with a lot of fighting and pushing forward we will come out on top. Now what I want to see this year is for the young adults of Medicine Hat to get so close to God so that nothing can tear them apart from Him. And I want us to change our city, I want the young adults here to love our city. I want people to be saved through the young adults. This city needs us. In my prayers are also the other cities in Canada, I pray that the young adults in those cities take back their city for God. You know what this is the year for the young adults of Canada to rise up and take back our country. I believe that it is the young adults of this country that are going to make the next big move...so get ready. I also believe that some day this country will be run by all Christians that is who will be in government in the future...hey its my dream to become and alderman here in Medicine Hat...bet you all didnt know that eh. Well anyways I think that I ranted enough for tonight. Just remember...This is the Year!

Worship

I love worship....like I could worship God all the time. Wait that is what we are supposed to do not only with singing but with our daily lives, with our jobs, with our families and with our friends. You see but not all of us do that including me. But you know what I love the most is singing to God even tho I suck at singing I love it. I love to praise him in worship. That is actually what keeps me going to church is the worship part I love that part I could stand there in that spot forever and sing to Him. But this friday I went to a service called Rock in the House its a youth service at Temple Baptist Church and we worshipped and I has so much fun doing that. But then in worship I get this time when I feel like I am getting too close to God and I pull away thats when the tears come and since I hate crying I stop worshipping. That happend to me agian this friday at this service. I started to cry during the song that goes like this...you give and take away...it was at the part that I wanted to cry. I dunno why I think its because I realized at that moment that everything that has been takin out of my life has been takin for a reason and everything that I have gotten has been from Him. But then I pulled away and at that moment I felt God asking me why for once. I always ask Him why but this time He was asking me why. Why would I pull myself away from the person who loves me the most in this world? Why would I want to treat my Daddy like that? Now I do not have the answers for these questions. I love worship but if I want breakthrough I know I gotta start getting close to God and get intimate with Him. I did say that this is the year of intimacy with my Father...so I need to act on that. Well that is all I have to say for now.

It's really SNOWING

I love snow soooo much and I have wanted it to snow here soooo bad. And its snowing woohoo. Its 3:42am and I am sitting here in my pj's on my balcony outside watching the snow. Its a lil chilly but who cares. If you sit here and listen to the snow fall its sooo cool and watching it come down. These are big flakes wow. I have been asking God to let it snow and its here. Ohhh man I could sit here forever and just watch it. I may got frost bite but at least I enjoyed my time. Ha ha ha my cat is on the inside and I can hear him yelling through the glass door its funny. I am in heaven right now. You guys know why...my peace is back. Have I ever told you about the peace that snow gives me. Snow is soooo peaceful and it gives me sooo much peace. Ohhh no the wind shifted and its getting on my laptop. Quick retreat...retreat ahhhhh. Ok back inside where it cant wreck my laptop. Look how beautiful it is ohh wait you can't see it. HEY I will take a picture right now so that you can. BRB....ok I am back and I will leave you now with a dark pic of the snow(remember its 4am) Ohhh man I feel like a lil kid again its too exciting. Yeah I am not tired one bit. Wide awake. mmhmm I am...yeah ok I am done...Nikki Out! (pssst its snowing)

Emptiness

So this is my question why do girls go to the bar wearing almost nothing. Ohhh right I know why because they have n0 self esteem and feel that they have no purpose in life. This kinda ticks me off for a couple of reasons. First cause I used to be there. I used to be the one at the bars trying to get all the guys attention and then when I did I would use that to my advantage. I would think that I am important and I would think that someone cares. So I would go with the guy and we would have our fun (if you know what I mean) and I know that is not good I know that now. But then was a different time that is before I met the LORD and before He changed my life. But today I still see so many girls messing up their lives and it makes me sad. Mostly cause I know how they feel inside they really feel lonely and my heart breaks for them. Girls who think they are worth nothing so they give themselves to guys. Its making me teary eyed just thinking about it. Ok and the second thing that ticks me off is the devil is winning these girls over. That makes me angry. He is sitting there laughing and saying look at all the girls that I have on my side and look at all the boys who are following them. You see the bar (for those of you who havent been there) is mating grounds. Its like when animals are looking for their mate well thats the bar. Its a place where you get really drunk and you look for action. Yeah I know that cause thats why I used to go and thats why most people go. Yeah they will say its cause they like to dance sure thats it. Lets say its cause you like to dance ok then you end up leavin with some boy in a taxi cab mmmk. Yeah so I dunno ok you are probably wondering why I am ranting and raving about this right now. Ok so yeah I may have been at a bar tonight it was my friends birthday and I was trying to support her. Yes I may have had a few drinks and I may have danced a bit and I may have enjoyed myself. But this time was different this time I didnt go cause I was lookin for a guy. This time I went and hung out with a friend and had fun and made some disturbing observations. Like you could have stood there with a camera and talked like they do on the discovery channel. Ok the male of the species is walking up to the female species that is shaking her groove thang. He is also shanking it and he is touching her yeah thats about it of that. But for real its a problem and someday I pray that God gives me the strength to go into the bars and stay sober and witness to these people cause I know why they are there. So Father please work in me so that you can work in them. Amen. I love my Father!

Just listen

Well I just want to share my thoughts, opinions and how my life has been going. Life this week has been pretty good. I have been happy and content. I have been talking to God on a regular basis and its been awesome. But there are things on my mind that just wont leave and I have talked these things over with a few people and got their opinions. I have done a lot of reasearch in the past on mental illness and stuff. And I am always on those type of websites looking at stuff. Well I for real think that I may have one for example bi-polar but I know some people who say no and others who say go get it checked out. I dunno if I do our not but I am just going to leave it alone and someday I will just get better. I have been happy all week but tonight I got some other things in my head that just frustrate me. Like I just wish people wouldnt tell me what to do and let me live the way I want. There is things I gotta work out in my life and I am not ready to be pushed. All I want from my friends is to be there for me and hang out and you know be friends. I know I am confusing to some people and they do not understand why I do what I do. But you see I am fine I am just figuring things out for myself and I am working on things. I work and I go to school all the time I am always at one or the other and I am getting really tired of being at these places. So I just need my down time. Also some people are confused when I tell them that I want a career change well you know what thats just the way it is. I am fine I am just changing my life up a bit. When I said I got all this revelation I didnt say I was going back to church I said that I was getting revelation. I can get fed through God and I can worship God in my house I am ok. I am tired of people worrying I am tired of people saying I dont understand you. You are never going to understand me. You are never going to see exactly what is going on in my life. Just be my friend and if I have something to say just listen and dont get frustrated. I am on a different path. I really do love you all though.

The breakthrough

Ok so I know I am going nuts with posting but I just had an incredible night that I have to share. Actually I have been having an incredible day...lets take you back. It all started this morning when I woke up after two hours of sleep but I felt energized. Then I go to work and I have the best day at work ever. The staff is all in a great mood for once and the children were all happy and everything was going right. Then I come home and I get on the bus to go to school. Then as I am on the bus I start thinking about when I used to take the bus a year back...God would show me people to pray for and I used to pray for everyone as the got on and off. I used to pray for the bus drivers cause they never seemed to be happy. So as I was sitting there thinking about the days when. I looked around and God said see these people are hurting they need my love but they need your prayers. So I prayed for these people and people that came on the bus with gloomy faces left the bus with smiles. I still look young to some of these people so all I am is a punk kid that takes the bus or another thing that they may think is a inconsiderate young adult you know all the stereotypes that we have. But when they see you helping a little elderly lady with something they look at you different. Its as if they actually see Jesus in you. That happened to me today. So after class I went shopping for my brothers birthday he turns six on wednesday. Then I came home and decided at 9:00pm that I was going to go for a run. Well this run was no ordinary run it was an amazing time with God. I started running in the direction of the house I grew up in. So I went there and I hung out in the park that as a child I used to play in and I talked to God. Then God and I walked around my old neighborhood and remembered all the good times we had. When life was perfect and the only world that existed was our backyards. Then I said to God my life is yours cause if I have to keep it in my hands I will probably dispose of it...so it has to be yours. It was a good time then I asked God about where the child like faith went. I started talking to Him about it. And this is what I came up with. As adults we lost our inocence and we lost our child like faith. So for some people it is hard to even remember their childhood but I did tonight when I was walking in my old neighborhood. God let me go back to those memories...the memories of child like faith. God gave me child like faith back tonight and I am not going to let it go. You can't tell me that the God who created you and me and this earth cannot do miracles. You can't...no one can. That is not all of my night. Then after this I walked to my biological fathers house whom I have never met. I then looked at his house and prayed and I gave him up to God and I said God I 100% forgive him for leaving. He is in your hands now. I felt so free after that and I know that he will find Jesus someday. As I was walking home I stopped...ok I know God is huge and He created the earth but did you know that He actually created the earth like for real it actually hit me. If I have the creater of the earth on my side no one can touch me or get to me or destroy me. Yeah thats cool eh...God is my Daddy and I am going to hold on to Him and NEVER let go. That has been my incredible day. The old Nikki the one that was on fire a year ago the one who never let anyone stand in her way, the leader and world changer...is back.

A little girls dreams

This is a poem I wrote. This is the first poem that I have actually placed for everyone to see. I really don't like sharing my writing. I also gave this one a title which I never do. But this one has a title that fits.

A Little Girls Dreams

As a little girl you dream of your true love
He come’s riding on a white horse
To rescue you from trouble
He is handsome and rare
You are beautiful in his eyes
It’s love at first site
You dream of the home you will have
It’s a big house with a white picket fence
And a wrap around porch
You dream of your family
Three children with happy smiles
A big dog in the backyard
Then when you get older those dreams seem to be only your imagination
Someone comes to stomp them out
But I have found that true love that they said I wouldn’t find
And He promised me my dreams
I will have my white picket fence and my happy children
I have this true love and I pray the world finds Him too
He is my Father
He is my God

Nicole Andrews

22

The bumpy road

Well this road I am on in life is sooooo bumpy. I am doing ok and then I get in these moods its almost like I am bi-polar which I am not. I get in these moods where I just don't give a flying rip about anything. Some of my friends think I have a problem and need to go to a shrink yeah right. There is no chance of me ever doing that. I have wanted to quit this walk many times but God has always grabbed me back He has never let me fall. The thing is I think my friends are getting sick of me whining about life cause really it could be worse. I could have no home, no food and no family. I could be poor and have some incurable disease. But I don't I just hate life. This road is too bumpy for me to continue. I hate it and I don't want it. It was easier when I never had to worry about things. There was a time where I hid in my house and I think that time has come again. For the two people who read this they will be the lucky ones. Cause this is the only place where they will be able to find me. And they will know what is going on in my life. Right now I think my friends are sick of me complaining so I am going to take a break again from everyone except school and work. Maybe this time it will be longer if not forever. So later all.

So I was watching the movie Crash. This is a great movie for you all who haven't seen it. I have seen it now four times and I love watching it. The movie is about racism but they don't show it in some corny or distasteful manner. This movie is real life...this is real life for some people. Everytime I watch it there are a few parts that I can't help but cry. It breaks my heart to see that there are people in this world who would look down on someone because of their color. If you haven't seen this movie you need to watch it. I was thinking today about all the pain in this world. I know there is tons cause I can feel a lot of it. My heart aches for people all the time. I always ask God why but I know its not His fault. We as Christians need to start fighting even more for these people if we don't stick up for them then who will. I know that I am rambbling about stuff we already know I am just a little bit emotional today and its something thats on my heart. There are not very many believers in this world so we really got our work cut out for us. God is going to have to get to a lot of people through a little people but thats ok cause that is how He likes to operate. I know my God and I know that He is big and that things this year are going to change. I know big things are going to happen. I know people are going to come and believe and those people are going to change the world. I know people this year are going to step out of their comfort zone and they are going to do big things for God. That is what I know.

Well Its 2006...

Hmmm....2005 was an allright year but I think that this year is going to be much better. For some of you who don't know I have only been a Christian for four years. And its been a long four years. But I have never had so many ups and downs as I have had this past year. This year has been amazing but there were times when I really just wanted to quit. This year God has given me an amazing group of friends and they actually believe in me when I wanted to quit and give up they pushed me and made me realize all that I have to offer. I have never had friends like this before all my past friends once I came to them with a problem they left me and I had to deal with things on my own. That is why sometimes I don't want to accept the help of others. I have always been the person to take care of everyone and make sure everyone is ok. I know that I need to learn to accept help from people. I learned a lot of life lessons this past year. I learned that no matter how far away from God you are He is always going to pursue you and never give up on you. This year I have given some more friends up which is super hard for me cause friends are something that is really important to me. I am all about making friends and wanting to watch them soar to new heights. I really do love people and I want to see them succeed in life. Expecially my friends there are so many people in this world pushing us down that people are age need some more positive things. I know in my group of friends we make fun of each other too much and that needs to change. Thats one thing that I am going to work on this year instead of tearing people down I am going to build them up. I want people to leave my presence feeling that they can do anything they think or imagine with God. I want people to dream again. Too many dreams are shot down. I know that from my own life people are constantly shooting my dreams down but the thing is I know my God and I know that I can do all things through Him. My God is bigger than anyone can think or imagine. He is my Father...the only one I know. There is so much that I want for the year 2006 but the one thing that I want the most is to get closer to my Daddy. I know this blog was a long one that went from topic to topic but thanks for reading it and Happy New Year.